Fighting the Future
by FaithfulKitten
Summary: A dream of the future shows Faith where she went wrong and gives her an idea of how to fix her life. This is a twist on canon since I clearly don't keep in line with everything that went on the show. It's mostly Faith centric with bits of Buffy thrown in. Posting here as well as a different site. Hope you like it. Review if you do. Review if you don't. Don't Own Anything
1. Dreaming

I wake up covered in sweat. It felt so real, it all felt so very real. Shivering in the early morning light I slide out of bed and make my way to the bathroom. Staring into the mirror I feel haunted by everything I have seen. I am a slayer and we are supposed to have prophetic dreams but I have never had one. If that was the future to come I sure as hell don't want to be part of it.

Washing my hands I can still feel the blood, still feel the warm fluid sliding onto my skin, soaking deep into me. Of course the blood doesn't wash off since it isn't even there. It hasn't even happened yet. What I saw has not happened yet. Yet it feels like it did. I feel as if I have already lived those events. They are part of me, seared into my brain as if they were part of my past. Washing my face I try to clear my head and fail miserably. I have to write this down. I don't think I will be forgetting any of this any time soon but I still feel like I should write it down. I feel like I need to have a record of these events so that I can avoid making the same mistakes twice. Well I haven't made these mistakes yet but it feels like I did.

Returning to my room I take out my journal and start from the beginning. I am in Sunnydale and things have started to go sour between me and Buffy. A new Watcher comes to town claiming to be mine; a Ms. Gwendolyn Post. She betrays me and in turn gets me to betray Buffy who has already betrayed me and her friends. All of that was rather confusing. Yet according to my dream Buffy is hiding Angel in the mansion where she killed him. Ms. Post is looking for the Glove of Myneghon and Angel finds it first. I fight Buffy thinking she is only trying to help her boyfriend who is really trying to end the world. In truth Ms. Post is the bad guy who wants the glove to become all powerful. I feel this event will be the test. If this comes to pass then I know all the terrible things I have seen will also come.

I make sure to note down the rest not just the start of my own tragic fall because I found it to be very tragic. The even with Post was the beginning. The rest only gets worse. I kill a man. It was an accident to say the least but it does not deter from the fact that I killed a man. A Mr. Allen Finch will be thrown to me by Buffy and meet his end at the end of my stake. I can still feel the blood pooling over the stake and onto my hands. Next comes the small series of betrayals not only from Buffy and her little friends but also from me. I end up working for the mayor of Sunnydale who is evil and trying to destroy the world.

Buffy nearly kills me to save her boy toy that leaves her anyway. So what was the point of saving him I wonder? Anyways back to the point I end up in a coma which lasts eight months, wake up with revenge on my mind and use a trinket from the mayor to switch bodies with Buffy. Overall the end result was not pretty. After switching back into my own body I run for L.A get a contract to kill Angel and commit a couple of acts of violence on others. To make matters a little worse I torture a man named Wesley for several hours. My attempt to kill myself via Angel fails and I turn myself into the authorities after the Council of watchers fail at their attempt to hunt me down.

For nearly three years I rot away in a prison cell without much contact from the outside world. I do break out to save Angel who has turned into Angelus yet again. I write down as much as I remember not just the bare facts. I make sure to include any times and dates that I am able to recall. This record may prove useful even if I alter the events.

If what my dream showed me is any indication of what my life will be like if I stay here than I would rather not stay here. I know why I turn against them. It's such a stupid reason and I would rather not go through it again. I love Buffy Summers and it is obvious that she will never love me. That she would rather turn against me again and again rather than take the time to get to know me. She will never accept me or see beyond the façade I have created for my own protection. Since this will be the case I would rather not be here to suffer through her disdain and hatred. It is bad enough to suffer through unrequited love, it is even worse to be hated and despised by the person you love. I saw no happy ending for myself in that future. The only thing I saw was the inside of a cell for the rest of my youth.

Opening the curtains I look out into the parking lot of Motel Sunnydale. It's a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining as it always seems to do in this town. The sky is clear. It feels like the world should reflect what I feel and thankfully it doesn't. Getting dressed I make my way to the high school. Strangely I am debating whether or not to tell Giles about my dream. If I was still with Kate I would have told her immediately but Giles isn't Kate. In the dream I had no reason to trust any of them and as far as I know them now I still don't. I don't think he would believe me even if I did tell him.

Entering the school I marvel still that no one even bothers to see or check if I am a student. They just blindly accept the fact that I am here. No wonder so many people die in this town every year; they are all a bunch of morons. Not to be darwinistic but these people almost deserve to die. Survival of the fittest and these dolts obviously have not survival instinct.

The library is empty except for Giles when I arrive. I suppose it should be empty since they all have class and it is nine in the morning. A small part of me feels a twinge of regret that she isn't here. I am a sad pathetic sap. To think I am happy at the mere sight of her. Then again I don't think I will be so happy to see her considering everything that is going to happen.

Giles acknowledges me with a nod and I am surprised that he isn't even bothering to question why I am there. It's these small little moments that remind me that I am not wanted. It's seems so much more obvious when looking at it all through the eyes of the older me. I have lived four extra years without actually living them. I feel a little too philosophical at this point. I wish I could question him about my dreams but it would only lead to me having to either make up a dream or tell him the truth. I would rather not waste my time. Going to the computer in the back of the library I open up the internet and start planning for the future or possible future.

Looking through colleges takes up the majority of my day. I apply to several throughout the country but the one that appeals to me that most is University of Texas in Austin. It's close to Sunnydale but not too close. I don't want to be here if what I dream was to be a reality. The voices of Willow and Xander walking into the library have me rushing to close everything out and clear out my search history. I don't think Willow would look or connect it to me but better safe than sorry.

Walking out from behind the stacks I take a seat and wait for the little Scooby meeting to begin. The two friends merely nod at me versus taking the time to say hi. Instead they stay engrossed in their conversation about god knows what. Part of me wants to try to be friends with these people and the other part remembers the dream. To them I am merely an extension of Buffy. I exist for the sole purpose of helping Buffy with her burden. As if I do not carry the same burden. As if I have not suffered as much as she has. They know nothing of what I have gone through nor have they ever really tried to learn.

Oz and Cordelia walk in soon after. Oz goes straight to Willow giving her a peck on the forehead while Cordelia sits next to me. Strange to think that out of all these people the one who is supposedly self absorbed has actually taken the time to see me. This girl who I would never have thought to become friends with has taken the time to get to know me. Out of everybody here she is the one I think I will miss the most.

"Hey you look like you are having some very deep thoughts today." She whispers into my ear. Her breath gives me the shivers and I swear if she wasn't dating Xander I would be after her like a hound in heat. I may love Buffy but I want Cordelia. Sometimes I wish I had fallen in love with her instead.

"You know me Cor I don't have any thoughts let alone deep ones." I tell her with a self deprecating smile.

"Yeah you may lie to the world but you can never lie to me." She tells me with a small poke at my ribs. Straightening up I pull away from her and take a good look at her. She's right I would tell her everything and yet I didn't. In my dream I pulled away from her not wanting her to see what I had done. I made her hate me and I can't for the life of me figure out why.

"I'll tell ya later Cor I promise." I tell her while letting my body relax back into a slouch.

"Why not tell me now?"

"You know why Cor. Come out to dinner with me tonight and I'll tell ya whatever you want to know."

"Faith is this your way of getting me to go out on a date with you?" She asks with a coy smile. Returning her previous poke I just smile and shake my head. "Fine I'll go out with you tonight but you're paying." She tells me with a pointed nod. I love an assertive woman.

Turning my attention to the door I wait for what my body has told me is coming. There she is in all her golden glory; Buffy Summers. My heart sings with joy while skipping a beat. My body and mind on the other hand merely recoil. I remember the look in her eye as she plunged my own knife into my stomach. Clutching my stomach I feel it all over again. I feel the knife sliding deep into me. I feel the betrayal, the shock, and the pain. It's intense and leaves me bent over my head being held up by the table and my breathe coming out in harsh pants. I am on the roof again instead of in the library.

"Faith, oh my god, Faith what is it? What's wrong?" I feel Cordelia say next to me. Her hands are lightly fluttering on my back as if wanting to touch me but afraid to hurt me.

Catching my breath I look back up into her chocolate eyes and wonder why I fell in love with the wrong girl. "I need to go. I'll pick you up tonight at six." Getting up I ignore the looks I get from the rest of the gang.

"Faith remember that you have to meet Buffy and me at Lustrum tonight at 8pm. I expect you to be at the gates waiting for us." I hear Giles call out behind me.


	2. It's Not A Dream

It's true, oh my god in heaven, it's true. Do the words holy fucking shit come to mind or what. I mean I suspected it was real because it felt real but to have it confirmed is a bit much to take in. I mean really, really this shit will all come true. I suppose that even though I had experienced it I still suspected that it wasn't real. That a dream was a dream was just a fucking dream. Instead a dream is a prophecy and my whole fucking life will be ruined unless I change it here and now. I mean yeah I took measures just in case it was real but in the back of my mind I was praying that it was just a figment of my imagination.

Ms. Gwendolyn Post has come to town and she has set my world spinning. Don't get me wrong I prefer to have her be the catalyst instead of Mr. Finch but it's still a shock at the end of the day. We're to meet at the library this morning and I honestly think I might enjoy it just a bit. I know how this smack down is going to go and I will enjoy watching Giles get spanked by an even more uptight Brit. That in itself is hard to imagine but it should be a blast.

Slipping into a pair of black leather pants and a tank top I make sure my image is in place. There is no point in changing the façade I have created for these people. I mean Cordy knows the real me but the rest still think I am a girl from the wrong side of the tracks. I wonder what they would think if they knew the truth. Faith Isabel Lehane was not born on the wrong side of the tracks. Quite the opposite she was born to the crème de la crème of Weston, Massachusetts.

The accent is a little thick for effect as is the foul language. Not that I am against swearing lord knows just because you come from the upper crust doesn't mean you haven't dealt with the lower. That and having two older brothers and one younger definitely helps. Overall my brothers alone allowed me to give the image of bad girl.

Walking into the library I take a seat next to Buffy and let my body slouch into the chair. My mother would have smacked me behind the head and told me to sit up straight. I watch the interplay between Giles and Ms. Post. I swear he is almost pissing himself. I will admit she is giving him one hell of a set down. The man is the vision of frustration. I am enjoying myself to say the least though I make sure I look annoyed. I have spent the majority of my time here being scolded for taking a different approach. Why shouldn't I enjoy watching Giles get his?

"I was sent here by the council to act as Faith's new watcher." The statement brings my attention back to the present.

"Lady there are two issues with that statement. First I don't do well with authority figures. They end up this side of dead. Second I don't need a watcher." I say looking Gwendolyn in the eye. I know what she wants and why she's really here. It does make working for her or following her orders a little more bittersweet.

"Duly noted and fortunately it's not up to you. You work for the Council Faith you will not forget that nor will they let you. You will obey my orders." She tells me a little more firmly.

"Mary Poppins I think you have a serious hearing problem. I just told you I don't need a watcher." I tell her a little more firmly.

"Faith if the council sent Ms. Post here to be your watcher then we will um… do everything we can to cooperate."Giles tells me giving me a look of his own. I swear the man deserves his fate and the verbal thrashing this bitch is going to give him.

"That's good Mr. Giles since the council wishes me to report on the entire situation here including you." Post states with a sickly sweet smile, makes me want to smack it off her face.

"Mmm, academic probation's not so funny now is it Giles?!" Buffy pipes in with an eye roll.

I slide my attention away from the situation having seen it before and its result. Seeing it for the second time I have to admit we were all a bit foolish. None of us took the time to verify if she was actually from the council. I would think the council would have taken the time to inform Giles that a new watcher was coming. They warned him when Wellesley was coming so why not Post.

"Well we will just have to begin tonight. Faith, come with me." Gwendolyn says while giving me a pointed look. Releasing a deep sigh I get up. Seems tonight we are going to go for a long hunt just what I want to do.

Smiling slightly I slowly rise out of my chair and follow her out of the library. I have no intentions of following her orders but giving her the appearance that I am can be beneficial. I can't kill her so the best solution for all of this is to follow the original path that I took. She'll get the glove and she'll die in the process. A part of me thinks that I should try to stop her from getting herself killed and the other part just doesn't give a shit. If I stop her now she'll just find another way to get herself killed why not get it over with now.

We walk back to my motel and I know she is going on and on about something or other. She is probably telling me that I am just as good as Buffy. Or that I deserve a watcher of my own who actually cares about me. This is all true but really does she need to tell me about it. I would like to have a watcher again. I would like to have someone on my side who tries to see me. I would like someone who doesn't spend all of his time comparing me to Buffy. It does create a bit of resentment over time.

Leaving Ms. Post behind I get into my motel room grateful to finally shut the door on her tirade. Seems tonight I have to wander the cemeteries with my one and only. How delightful. I would much rather be spending my time with Cor. Wow she's going to shit herself when she hears about Ms. P. She sure as hell didn't believe me when I told her about my dream. Here's the undeniable proof.

Picking up the phone I give her a ring and I ask her out for dinner again. She agrees but I can tell it is only because she is curious. No doubt she had to cancel a date with Xander. Strangely I am not disappointed about that. I know how things are going to go in that department and it won't be pleasant for my Cor. Part of me thinks I should tell her what Xander is going to do but the other part doesn't want to interfere too much with the future. I mean yeah her heart will get broken but she will survive it. The bad part of my dream is that I know what happens to me but there is so much of the lives of others that I didn't see. I don't know how Cor gets her heart broken, or when, or with whom Xander cheats with. I was so excluded from the lives of the Scooby's that it's impossible for me to say how my telling Cor anything will affect the rest of them.

Plus in the world of that future I shut Cor out of my life the moment I killed Finch. The fact that I am including her more into my life now may already have changed the events of tomorrow or the next. The ripple effect is rather startling and impossible to imagine.

I strip down to nothing figuring there is nothing to do might as well take a nap. Sadly I am unable to sleep my thoughts are running around like chickens with their heads cut off, minus the blood. There is a definite war going on between my head and my heart. My heart says that now that I know what the future holds I should use it to properly woo Buffy, to make her see the real me. It's screaming at me telling me that once she sees me she will love me. My mind on the other hand is taking all of this with a more logical approach. Buffy is in love with Angel. She is currently hiding him from her friends and family. She stands by Angel against her friends and family. Do I have a shot against the man she is so convinced she loves? Yeah, and maybe a snowball has a chance in hell.

Giving up on sleep I look at the clock and realize I have less than half an hour to get dressed and meet Cor. Getting up I slide on the clothes I had been wearing before and fix my hair and run out the door. There are a lot of people I don't mind being late for but Cor ain't one of them. The walk to the restaurant is quick which is convenient for me. Looking around I don't see her car which means I have dodged a small bullet. No doubt Cor would not be pleased to know she cancelled a date only to have me arrive late.

"Hey Fai, you coming in or what?" Cordelia asks me as she steps in front of me. Seems my imagination ran away with me. Clearly my powers of observation are asleep.

"Hey Cor thanks for meeting me" I tell her while opening the door. Merely nodding she follows me in but from the look she gives me I can tell she is curious as to why she put her plans on hold for me.

I wait till we get a table and order our drinks and meal. We usually come here and the majority of the time I get a steak with pasta and she gets a Caesar salad. This time she orders a Chicken Caesar salad which is understandable considering we were only out yesterday.

"Ms. Post has arrived my dream was a prophecy on my life." I tell her point blank. Cordy and I have never felt the need for beating around the bush. Being blunt may be a bit abrasive at times but it is honest.

"Really?" The way she says it tells me she isn't sure whether to believe me or not.

"Yes, really. She arrived last night at patrol and came to the library today. She chewed Giles ass off which I will admit was fucking hilarious. She's after the glove as is that demon she was talking about. They both want power but she wants it more." I tell her almost begging her to believe me.

"Why didn't you call me last night and tell me?" She asks with mild outrage.

"Yeah right as if I would risk getting me head chewed off just to tell you a bit of news. You would be ranting at me right now about how I had interrupted your beauty sleep and I wouldn't hear the end of it for at least a week. I would much rather hear you for a day complaining about how I didn't call." I tell her and she's already smiling which is a sure sign that she has already forgiven me but will pull my chain for a bit.

"Well what are you going to do about it?" She asks curiosity shining in her eyes.

"Nothing, I want to see if this all plays out like it did in my dream. I am sure without doubt that what I saw was my future. However, I want to double check. I have no idea what will happen if I stop her. Ms. Post will meet her end one way or another and honestly I won't be sorry to see her gone. When it comes to the rest well I think I will be leaving Sunnydale." I can tell my words are surprising. Cordy looks like I dropped a bomb on her house and then gave her a hug.

"You can't be serious!" She nearly shouts. Grabbing her hand I offer what comfort I can. It's been a while since I have had a real friend and the idea of hurting Cor makes my heart clench in fear. I don't want to lose her. I haven't had anyone since before my watcher died. I would never of thought we would get so close and in such a short time but I love Cordelia like she is my sister. I never thought we would even become friends but she was the only one open to my initial attempt at friendship. Willow and Xander saw me as interesting but they never looked beyond the surface. Cordelia has a keen sight and saw beyond the bullshit I was showing and she took the time to get to know me. She doesn't think Buffy is the shit and strangely that only helped to cement our friendship.

"I am Cor. You have no idea what it felt like in the dream. The blood welling on my hands or the guilt that was all consuming. I don't want to go through that again Cor, I can't go through that again. If I leave I am guaranteed to make a different way for myself. It's obvious the dream was a warning and I have no intentions of ignoring it." I tell her hoping that she will understand.

"Stop looking at me like that." She says giving me a smack on the arm. "Just because I am surprised and a little hurt does not mean that I am going to stop being your friend. I care about you Faith and either way I never planned on staying in Sunnydale forever. I have dreams of leaving this hell hole so I have no reason to be angry about you leaving it. I do understand I'm just going to miss you." She tells me while holding my hand.

"I'll miss you even more but you know that I am bound to visit. I am an extension of Buffy after all." I tell her with a small smile. "I am going to get called back here for one thing or another and we will write and call each other. You are my best friend and there is no way I am letting distance get between us." I am not losing her again. She grounds me and I know I will always need an anchor. I have seen what I am like without one.

She gives me one of her brilliant smiles and we both stop the chat for a bit and settle into our dinner. The silence reigns each of us deep in our own thoughts making the rest of dinner and silent but comfortable affair. Taking care of the bill I walk us out of the restaurant and walk Cor back to her car.

"When are you leaving?" She asks me with a small sad smile.

"Not for a bit. I have to hear from the colleges I applied to first. I will be enrolling into Spring semester just don't know to which school yet. I applied to University of Texas in Austin, University of Ohio in Cleveland, which I will probably go to since there is a hellmouth there or to University of Illinois Chicago." I tell her knowing that it will be hard to leave.

"Well give me at least a week's warning before you leave." She tells me with a slight sniffle and I know she's agitated that she will miss me. Surprising her and myself I give her a hug. I promise myself that I will not let this friendship go no matter what.

Our goodbyes said I wait for her to get into her car and drive off before making my way to the Summer's residence. It's as usual a bit of a walk but I welcome the silence. It will hopeful give me time to compose my thoughts and control my reactions. The last thing I need is to remember the roof top when I have to spend a portion of the night stalking the cemeteries with Buffy.

Knocking on the door I am greeted by Joyce who looks surprisingly happy considering I am taking her daughter out tonight to go slaying.

"Hi Faith it's so nice to see you again honey." She tells me while ushering me into the house.

I imagine it is nice to see me again. She thinks I keep her daughter safe at night, that I am her daughter's salvation that I will be able to give Buffy the normal life she deserves. As if Buffy would give up slaying. Although she curses it and blames her calling for all of her troubles Buffy loves it. She loves the power, the control; she is about as capable of giving up slaying as I am. It's not just a duty, a responsibility, it's in our blood and we love it.

Buffy comes down the stairs and I can smell him on her. I suppose I never realized what that smell was because I was unaware of Angel's return. Now that I know I can smell him. She was with him today and she must have touched him more than once otherwise his scent would not be lingering on her. I wonder how long she would have kept him a secret if Xander hadn't found them out. Strange but sometimes the memories of the future meld so deeply with the present that I am confused.

"Hey you ready?" She asks with her usual smile. I wonder if I ask her about Angel if she answer or evade my questions. Deciding to test my theory I smile in return and motion for us to leave. Giving Joyce a smile and a wave I walk out followed by Buffy.

We make our way through cemetery after cemetery and my attempts at conversation are shot down repeatedly. I want her to talk to me to see me but she is clearly distracted. Undoubtedly her thoughts are focused on her dead flesh boyfriend. God what a waste of a good thought. I can't even imagine sleeping with a corpse, because really that's what a vampire is, a very well preserved corpse but still a corpse. True the corpse is animated, is able to talk, walk, and think but it's cold, it doesn't eat food, and it doesn't need to breathe, and the heart no longer beats. I wonder how in the world she was able and willing to let that cold flesh touch her so intimately. Shaking in revulsion I seem to have attracted her attention. Of course I can't tell her what I was thinking. So I switch the topic to men and see if I can draw out the Angel subject.

"Well there was Ronnie deadbeat, Steve klepto, and Kenny…drummer. I just found that I am a loser magnet and chose the get some, get gone method." I tell her wondering if my brothers will think my use of name so close to theirs as my lovers would be considered a form of incest. Ronan, Shane, and Kendrick would be greatly disappointed I think. So would all the men I supposedly get some and get gone with. I have never had a lover, nor have I wanted one. Not since them.

"Not all guys are bad Faith, some of them are actually good… or so I have read about." She tells me after receiving a skeptical look from me.

"So what about you?" I ask hoping to prompt her into talking about Angel.

"You mean me and guys?" She asks in a slightly cautious voice. Merely nodding and making a small noise I want with anticipation.

"Not much to tell these days." She tells me and it is rather noncommittal considering she spent time with Angel today. I go for broke and bring up Angel. I have nothing to lose and possibly something to gain.

"Yeah, but you have to have stories. I mean I have had my share of losers but you….you boinked the undead. What was it like?" I ask see the anger flash quickly through her eyes. I have to say the way I put it was rather vulgar.

"Life with Angel's…was complicated." She says covering for her slight slip. "It's still a little hard for me to talk about." She tells me and I know she is trying to shut down the conversation.

"Well, try." I tell her wondering if she will shut me down.

"Look Faith, all the Angel stuff is still kind of with me, so if you don't mind, I would rather not." She tells me as we stop walking. It's not the final nail in the coffin of our relationship but it is rather close. I am here I am nearly confronting her with the existence of her lover and she merely evades the conversation. She will never open herself up to me.

Deciding I am getting nowhere in this I merely shut the conversation down and get rid of her. I tell her to take the rest of the night off and that I will do Shady Hill. I have no intention of doing it since Lagos is there but I will let her go. I don't want to be around someone who doesn't want to be around me.

Walking back to my motel room I release a couple of deep breathes and with it some of my frustration. There is no point in being pissed off with reality. I can't change her or her friends but I can change the path I take and fix some of the mistakes I will make. True there are always new ones to take their place but hopefully their consequence won't be as serious.

The knock on the door is something of a surprise. I know who it is but I am still surprised. Not even Cordy comes to visit me here but that is my choice. I don't want her to see me here all the time. I suppose I am a bit ashamed of my current living quarters. Opening the door I see Ms. Post in all her British glory. Great here we go. Another wonderful round of tell Faith how the super friends are isolating her.

"So this is where you live?" She asks while entering my room and taking a cursory look around.

"Yeah, actually the decorator just left." I tell her my voice leaking sarcasm all over the place.

"Faith do you know who the Spartans where?" She asks me as if I should care.

"Stab in the dark: some guys from Spart." Yes I know who the fucking Spartans where. They fought the Persian army and actually won which is amazing considering the size of the Persian army. And yes I know she is referring to the fact that my room is Spartan and that I should be proud of it. God, could I hate this woman anymore than I already do?

"They were the fiercest warriors of Ancient Greece. And they lived in quarters much like these. Do you know why? Because a true fighter needs nothing else. I am going to be very hard on you, Faith. I will brook no insolence or laziness. And I will not allow blunders like the other night. You will probably hate me a great deal of the time."

"Do ya think?" I ask knowing that I already hate her and it has nothing to do with her training methods.

"But I will make you a better slayer," She continues as if I had never spoken. "and that will keep you alive. You have to trust that I am right. God only knows what Mr. Giles has been filling your head with." Not much I can tell you that. Buffy is his main concern not me but I refrain from telling her such.

"Giles is okay."I tell her simply having little good or bad to say about the man.

She goes off on a tangent about his methods and tells me about the secret meeting the scoobies are having. I know all about it not that I was invited. Cordelia called me the second it was over to tell me what happened. She's more included in the happy Super friends than I am but she is always willing to tell me the important stuff. Seems Buffy finally got caught of which I already knew she would. However this time I actually got the details to the reign of disapproval Buffy had to endure.

I hear Ms. Post mention training which makes me perk up. I know I need to train more. Giles focuses way too much on Buffy and I will admit that I don't get as much time as I would like. I have a gym membership in town but I can only go during the mid-afternoon when most people are at work and that is only for a workout. I am not getting the proper training that I really need. I suppose I should give up waiting and get into a martial arts class until I leave. Sadly I think I might have to do the one thing I dread most; use my trust money. I shudder to think of the consequences of that.

Walking into The Bronze after training I find Xander angrily shooting pool, make that shooting badly. "You look pissed." I say already knowing the reason behind his sullenness. I do sympathize loving Buffy can be very aggravating.

"Rough day."

"Tell me about it."

"Rather just shoot." Makes me wonder why I slept with this kid.

We go through the slow process of shaving away his aggravation. I tell him I know what the meeting was about though I use the glove versus the truth. I know the truth and I know how this will play out. By the time we get to the part where Angel is still alive I am angry all over again, angry at always being left out. I know that Buffy's thing with the corpse was before I came here but I feel I should be included in things involving Angel. In a vampire more than capable of killing people, who has killed hundreds if not thousands of people. Soul or no soul a vampire is still a vampire.

"Guy like that , with that glove, could kill a whole lot of people." I state almost nonchalantly.

"Funny I said the same thing to her but strangely she didn't seem to care." He tells me while taking another miserable shot. He's so sullen and sulky I feel like I am watching a five year old have a tantrum.

"So Buffy knew he was alive. I can't believe her." I say for his benefit.

"She says he's clean." He tells me sounding as if Angel is a drug addict instead of a vampire.

"Yeah, well, I say we can't afford to find out. I say I deal with this problem right now. I slay." I tell him shining with excitement at the prospect.

"Can I watch?" He asks. Nodding I signal for him to show me the way.

Stopping at the library we find Giles knocked out. I am mildly concerned for his well being but I have a part to play. Brushing off Xander's fear and my own worry I leave him behind holding Giles and head for the mansion. My axe in hand I make it to the mansion at top speed.

I look into the patio doors of the mansion to find Post slamming a shovel into the back of Angel's head. Watching him fall to the ground a part of me sings in satisfaction. I know he saves me in the future and part of me is grateful but since that future is never coming I feel only resentment at his existence. I let the scene play out until I see my role has been called. It's time to play my part. Who would of thought that I would be starving for affection enough that I would help this bitch out.

"I am so going to enjoy killing you." I tell him.

"You are not getting this glove." He tells me emphatically.

Before I have a chance to attack Angel uses a in-to-out-to crescent kick to knock it out of my hand. I slam into him and he absorbs most of the impact only taking a small step back. I know I can't fight him for real but holding back some of my punches and willingly taking a couple of hits is going to be harder than I thought. He is able to backhand me making my head spin. Twirling to the side I come back at him with a vengeance. Slamming my fist into his face I feel a satisfying crunch. I follow it with a second punch to his stomach, and a kick to his solar plexus.

I watch as he shakes off my hits and makes a swing at me. Ducking low I take advantage of his awkward position and lean over his right side and do a reverse snap kick which slams into his face. Stepping away I slam my foot behind his knee and watch him collapse onto the floor. Grabbing onto his hair I throw him towards the couch. Even though I said I would be gentle there is too much satisfaction in beating the shit out of him. I am a bit pettier than I thought. I hate that he has her. I hate that he is her first everything and that she will never see me. She see's so much good in this vile corpse yet she can't see an ounce of good in me. He has killed more people than I could ever manage in my entire lifetime. She forgiven everything he has done yet she can't forgive me for killing one guy by accident. A guy she threw at me, a guy she should have known was human, a guy she never should have thrown. Walking over to the vampire I see he is helpless and dazed. Raising my stake I shake my head. I am lost in a strange mixture of the future and the present.

A body slamming into me stops my thoughts. Shoving the body off I find it's Buffy. I am surprised to see her even though I know how this all plays out.

"I can't let you do it Faith." She tells me.

"Your confused Twinkie. Me slayer. Him vampire. Me slay vampire."I tell her while pointing between Angel and myself.

"You don't know all the facts."She tells me and I feel as if she thinks she is reasoning with a psychopath.

Gwendolyn takes our conversation as an opportunity to butt in. Her words do nothing but confirm that I do in fact have a role to play. Doing a full spin kick I smash into Buffy's face. The fight is on. Trading blows and kicks back and forth I stay at an advantage. A part of me feels that I should let her kick my ass a little bit but then I remember the roof top. I remember the look in her eye as she slid my own knife deep into my stomach. That memory alone allows me to face her again and again.

Gwendolyn getting the glove finally interrupts our constant face off's. Turning our  
attention to Gwen we see her attack Willow. Following Buffy's order I let myself become bait. Running into the mansion I dive and hear a bolt of lightning slam into the wall not too far behind me. Next thing I hear is screaming and see lights flashing. Seems the Ms. Post finally got her just rewards. Getting up I dust myself off and go back to the motel. Buffy was too busy to notice me when I left and I tend not to want to make a scene if it isn't necessary.


	3. Disappointed Realities

Laying on my bed with the T.V on and flipping through a magazine I hear a knock on the door. I already know who it is and I am not surprised to see she has come. No doubt she is here to give me her you can trust me speech. Yes of course I can trust her. I can trust her to isolate me, to lie to me, to keep secrets from me. I can trust her to betray me and to slide my own knife into my stomach. Truly I trust her with everything that I was but I cannot trust her with who I will be.

"Come in."

"Hey, the place looks nice." She says while looking around.

"Yeah real Spartan."

"How are you doing?" she asks and I wonder if she really even cares.

"Five-by-five."

"I'll take that to mean good." She says and a part of me wishes she would just be a little honest, just a little blunt instead of always beating around the bush.

She goes on to talk about Post and how she had us all fooled. She reminds me that she kept secrets and that she had no choice but to keep those secrets. She tells me that I can trust her, that she is on my side. I merely tell her that I am on my own side cause really I have no one besides myself, and Cordy. I certainly don't have Buffy.

Looking at her before she leaves with that sad look of disappointment I want to scream and rail at her. Why couldn't she have told me? She comes in here talking about trust and being on sides well why couldn't she have told me? Trust is a two sided street and everything she has done only states that she does not trust me. Out of all the people she knows I would be the unbiased one. I have nothing against Angel, well I do but not that she knows of. With me she had no reason to lie. Yet she kept her secrets and she did have a choice and she chose not to say anything. What were the dire consequences? Nothing happened when her friends found out and if they have found out through her instead of because discovering the truth things could have turned out differently. She dug her grave and instead of manning up for her actions she relies on excuses. Like she excuses where I live and how she ignores and excludes me. She is nothing but excuses and yet I love her. I am a masochist and the Powers that Be are a bunch of fucking sadists for making her my soul mate. Then again I suppose your soul mate could be the person you hate the most.

Thursday night for the majority of people is a reason to celebrate, Friday is around the corner and the weekend is just within reach. For me Thursday night means a trip to L.A. I have to make an income of sorts and the one I chose would definitely be on the bottom of my parents list of career choices for their daughter. I am a stripper on the weekend and a certain level of shame is associated with it. I suppose I could have a respectable job busting tables or babysitting but none of them pay enough. The council doesn't front an ounce of dough for my support. So I turned to stripping. It's easy and offers a large payout for only two days of work. I leave every Thursday night and come back Sunday morning. I can make at least three hundred a night and it covers me through the week. Being a slayer is not cheap. When you factor in the weapons, housing, clothing, and food I spend at least five hundred a week. I can't make that much money in an unskilled position.

The bus ride to L.A is the same as always a bit boring but the dread in my stomach has decreased with each time. I used to hate myself and this ride a lot more a couple of weeks ago. To think that I had succumbed to exposing myself for money almost makes me want to cry. Yet my choices have been limited. I thought about breaking my trust but I am not ready for that. I am not ready for them to know the truth, for them to find me. I know without a doubt that if I break my trust fund my parents will come looking for me, they will be sure that I am alive. I don't want them to know the things that I have done to survive or the things that have been done to me. I suppose it is cruel not to make them aware that I am alive and fine. I just can't stand to see the look of disappointment in their eyes when they finally see me. They will know without a doubt what happened. My surviving will be proof enough of what happened. My body would have been enough proof too.

Four years have passed since I last saw them, or my brothers for that matter. Who would have thought a family vacation in Paris would have such dire consequences. After Kate found me and rescued me she refused to let me return to my family. She said I had a destiny to fulfill and that a family would only endanger me and them. I haven't been back to Boston since I left with my family. Kate and I lived in New York close enough to my home that I could have run away but I couldn't. I was too ashamed; I am still too ashamed of what I did and what was done to me. No one should go through the things I went through and if ever I wanted blood on my hands it would be theirs. Mohammed and his sons: Mahmoud, Riyad, and Ahmad. I can never forgive their actions and I would love watching their blood flow like water.

The bus stopping at the station drags me from the past. I would love to forget it but it glares me in the face every time I look in the mirror. It mocks me as I dance slowing taking off my clothes. They taught me a trade that I will never forget. The lessons they instructed and the ones they ordered taught haunt me in the night. I spend all night slaying not because I love my job but because I can't stand to sleep at night.

Getting off I make my way to my usual motel room. It's clean and cheap which is more than I can say for the one in Sunnydale. Getting a room I go upstairs and drop off my bag. Grabbing a stake I make my way back onto the streets of L.A. Evil never sleeps so why should I? Making my rounds I find a bit of action, just your garden variety vampire lurking the dark alleys' looking for an easy meal.

After six vamps I figure I might as well call it a night. L.A is nothing like Sunnydale. There you can wait in the cemetery and you're bound to make a kill or two. In L.A I have to stalk the streets in the same mind set as my prey. It reminds me of New York only warmer. I remember more than one bitter cold night stalking the streets of the city praying my fingers didn't fall off. It takes three times as long to do a good patrol as it would in Sunnydale. Sunnydale vampires are almost eager to die. Big city vamps are a bit smarter undoubtedly it's due to working so hard for a good meal. Here there are guilds and most guilds protect each other. The pro's keep an eye on each other as do the gangs, thieves, thugs, and cops. Overall finding the stray is harder than ya'd think.

Looking at the sky I can tell the sun is close to rising. Getting back to the motel I strip down and get into the shower. After scrubbing off the vamp dust I put on a pair of pj's and slide in between the sheets. I think of Buffy and her friends and wonder if they even notice that I am gone. I know that they didn't notice last week or the week before. Cor knows what I do and she is the disapproving mama on this topic but she gets it… well mostly. She thinks I should petition Giles for money from the council but I am not one to beg. I refuse to go crawling to those bastards.

Since the Post incident as I like to call it the silence between me and them has been consistent. Cor tries to keep me in the loop but I find that I want to know less. Before I was hungry for any and all information I could get now I realize that I have to make my life away from that. Cor is my friend but I am finally ready to acknowledge that the others never will be. They belong to Buffy and as I have seen she is very territorial when it comes to them and vice versa. The definition of insanity is repeating the same action over and over expecting different results. We'll I am not insane this time around.

Closing my eye's I release my thoughts like water dripping into a glass. The sun is finally making its way over the horizon and I can finally get some much deserved sleep. No nightmares this time. Falling into the arms of oblivion I smile that things will change this time.

My arms are trailing down my body creating a path that takes the eye on a tour of all of my curves. The music is playing in the background but I don't hear it I feel it, feel it to my very core. That's how I survive these nights by falling into the sound. Slowly I unbutton my top making sure that they follow my movements like starved lions. Sliding my blouse off my shoulders I turn tantalizing them with my back slowly being unraveled. Tossing the blouse aside I move to my bra and unhook it. Turning slowly I give them a side view as I let it drops inches at a time. My hand trails slowly to my waist and I dance giving them the impression that I belong to them, that I lust only for them. Sliding off my skirt I leave my thong on an itsy bitsy black string that shows more than it hides. The sexual tension is running high in the club and that is why I am paid so well. Some women are born with sex appeal and some are taught. I am both. I was taught by a harem of women who had been trained to give pleasure, to show themselves as nothing but sexual beings.

By the time the song is over and my dance is over the crowd is nearly drooling after me. Making the rounds I take on one lap dance after another. I grind my body over one beast after another, all men are beast and establishments such as this are proof enough. The night passes over quickly enough. I go on stage four times and work the floor. Unlike some of the others girls I resist the temptation of drink and more illicit offerings. I've been through an addiction and withdrawal neither of which is even remotely pleasant. The scars have mostly faded but I can still feel the needles, the pin prick, the rush, the euphoria, and the eventual crash. It was ugly and it's the only reason I am grateful to Kate. She dragged me through the withdrawal kicking and screaming, but she got me clean.

This is my last night and like every weekend I am glad it's over. I like the money and I have grown accustomed with what I have to do but I still don't like it. I do a quick patrol around the club. The Spearmint Rhino is a relatively upper class joint but downtown L.A still gets a few unsavory sorts. At least this is all over for this week at least. Fixing my bag on my shoulder I head to the bus station. My bus leaves in less than a half hour and like I have done every weekend since I have been in cali it's time to go back to Sunnydale.

The bus ride is long but thankfully I am able to sleep through it. My mind quickly slips into the arms of sleep only to be jarred awake by the bus docking at the Sunnydale bus station. Groaning my disappointment at being woken up I drag myself out of the bus and on to the street. The walk back to my motel room is relatively short and I am grateful for it. I am tired in more than one way. Each weekend is an emotional trail along with a physical one. Being on your feet for twelve hours in stiletto heels is just painful, dancing in them is almost worse.

Opening the door to my room I am surprised to see someone in my bed. "Cordelia what the fuck are you doing here?" Not that I am not happy to see her cause I am, I love her in my own way, but it's eight in the fucking morning.

"Faith mmmn you're back." She states in a half groan and moan that would be pretty fucking hot if I weren't exhausted and she weren't in my bed. Wait I take that back it is sexy as fuck especially because she is in my bed but I am too tired to do anything with it.

"Yeah I am, now tell me what you're doing here."

"Faith he cheated on me." She tells me point blank while wiping her eye's. Well shit. I can't believe that little turd actually cheated on her. I'll kill him. Well okay I knew he was going to cheat it just seems too soon. I swear the Scooby fucking gang loves drama, without it I think they would all shrivel up and die.

"Cor I am sorry." I state simply. I don't know what else to tell her. What can I say hey Cor I knew he was going to cheat I should have said something sorry. It seems a little inadequate; too little, too late scenario. Taking a closer look I see she is a little pale. "What happened?"

"He and Willow where being held hostage by Spike, Oz and I came to the rescue. Unfortunately the stairway to the basement where they were being held was old and rotten, it caved when I walked down and I was impaled." She tells me while pulling down the sheet and lifting her shirt. The bandage is relatively large and I hate Xander just a little bit more after seeing it.

Taking a deep breath to calm my rage and to think I review my memories. I don't remember this from my past/future. It seems that I have already changed events in my future. Before Cor didn't come to me after Xander cheated. Controlling the urge to kill Willow and Xander I sit down on the bed. My memories of the future and my current hatred are mixing together and I am at a loss for words. I hated Willow and Xander in the future and I hate them with an even deeper passion now. Cordelia is mine and I protect my own. The fact that I wasn't here for her hurts. The fact that those morons hurt her only pisses me off more. I want to hurt Xander like he hurt Cor. I want to hurt Willow for the same thing. I think I might even think of a way of doing so.

Laying down next to Cordelia I carefully spoon my body with hers. She's mine to protect and I will protect her. She is the woman I would love for life if my heart were mine to give. Regulating my breathing I let myself relax and feel her relax in turn. I have no words of comfort to give. I have no great words of wisdom to impart. I can't take the hurt away. The only thing I have is myself and I give it to her freely.


	4. Stripping Away Layers

It's time to leave. I didn't think I would be saying that any time soon but looking down at the papers in my hands I know it's true. My three choices have all replied and it looks like I am going to Cleveland, Ohio. Originally I thought it didn't matter where I went as long as I was close enough to get back here in an emergency. That was until I remembered the Hellmouth in Cleveland. It's not as active as this one or so I have heard but it is still active.

Quickly I pen off my acceptance to the University of Ohio's offer and my regrets to the others. If I leave I should go onto another hellmouth. Sealing up the envelopes I start packing my bags. Not much has happened since I found Cor on my bed. The Scooby's are still as tight nit as ever minus Cor and I am still an outsider. The only real change is the Cor and I are even closer than before. I've given up my shame of my room. She spends at least two nights a week here with me and we go slaying together every other night. Buffy and I on the other hand have only grown more and more distant. She refuses to call me into meetings and only goes on patrol with me if it is an order.

With my bag packed I call Cor and ask her to meet me at our place. I have to tell her about my acceptance and that I will be leaving today. It's a month from Christmas and school starts the second week of January. I want to have a place by then and a job. I also want to have a good feel for Cleveland before classes start.

"Hey you look serious." I hear behind me and turn to see Cor walking towards me. I didn't even notice I had been walking. That kind of thought train can be dangerous. Shaking my head I give her my thousand watt smile and loop my arm through hers.

"Yes very serious. I got my acceptance letters and I have already sent my agreement to go to Cleveland. Time's up Cor." We sound a bit dramatic for something that was bound to happen to either of us. If I didn't leave she would. We both have lives to live and even though we are like best friends we both understand that our lives may lead us down different roads. I have no expectations of Cor. I don't expect her to stand with me throughout all of her days, to give up on her own life for my sake.

"Well, we both knew this was coming I just didn't expect it to happen so quickly." She tells me as we walk into the restaurant.

"I know but you know and I know that I'll be back. Buffy has me by a short leash even if she doesn't know it."I tell her with a slight chuckle even though I am not sure I think it is very funny.

"Yeah that is another thing I don't think I will ever approve of. If for no other reason I am glad you are leaving so you get away from that girl. The fact that she can call and you drop what you're doing is unhealthy. Faith she is not your master and you need to live your own life. Cleveland will at least keep you away from her and give you a chance to meet new people. Please for my sake find someone, guy, girl, or animal just try to be happy, try for love or something like it." That's my Cor always knows what to tell a girl.

"I may love her but I'm not a fool. I'm not taking her to Prom now am I?"

"Is that your way of asking?"

"Ya know it is Cor." I tell her with my signature smirk.

"Well my original date did skip out on me. I suppose I will have to lower my standards and let you take me." She tells me as if she is loathe to go with me. God, what a tease.

"Yeah right! I am way above Harris on all the boards. This body alone puts me on the top ten of the hottest people you know. Just imagine how hot you'll look with a hottie like me on your arm. Though I am tempted to wear a tux just for you, something a bit butch but sexy as fuck." I tell her pouring sex into my voice like chocolate syrup.

"That might be hot to bad for you I don't do rugs." Ouch that girl knows how to sucker punch.

"That's just cause you have never tried. If ya did I know you would never go back. Girls are way better than men."

"Faith honey, your past totally colors your opinion of men and rightly so. Just remember that your brothers are men and if they are anything like you they aren't beasts. You wear the badge of slutdom but we both know that you haven't slept with anyone since you came to Sunnydale. You've had offers and I've seen the offers but you've never taken the bait. You flirt, you show off, but you never take them home." Switch to serious mode much.

"Ya well, keep that bit to yourself girls got a bad reputation to keep intact." I tell her with a self deprecating smile.

"Come on we've been dawdling over the menu for way to long order your meal already." She tells me smacking me on the hand gently.

"Yes, ma'am!"


	5. Leaving

I swear on all that is holy, thirty hour long bus rides are torture developed by the devil. After lunch with Cor I checked out and she walked me to the bus station. Next time I think of making this trip I plan on going by plane. There is no way I can stay inactive for that long ever again. Don't get me wrong the first couple of hours were rather relaxing. Then the boredom set in. Two hours of relaxing, twenty eight dying with boredom. Not a pretty picture. I did crosswords, read the paper, wrote in my journal, and finally slept. That was the first two hours the rest was spent reflecting on what next. The future is only so interesting.

Getting off the bus I stretch out my legs and take a tour of the city. I walk down Chester Ave and make a beeline for the University. Like most Midwestern states Ohio is a grid. The majority of roads are numbers and getting a feel for the place takes little to no time. The main part of the campus is on East 23rd but it branches over the grid. It's a nice campus and I like it well enough. I don't really like the weather since I just came from high 50's low 60's to what feels like -5. The wind isn't bad but with the lake being so close it definitely puts a bite to the air.

Walking down Euclid Ave I spot a Comfort Inn. It's a bit pricier but since it is only for a couple of nights I'll take the comfort especially in this cold. I fear what a third rate motel would be like. Checking in I drop my bag off in my room and continue my perusal of the town. There are several clubs in the center of town, mostly dance clubs which are mainly their because of the college students. I bet this area is packed on the weekends. Walking into Club 22 I ask for an application. I stop at several of the clubs around the school and repeat the process. I still haven't figured out how I am going to pay for school. I got some scholarship money and a couple of grants but I don't have enough to afford and apartment, clothes, slaying or feeding myself. Overall I have the majority of tuition paid off already just not anything else. I figure either I can break my trust, get a job, or join the army. I don't want to go back to stripping so that leaves some other low paying job.

A couple of these places are hiring bartenders and I've always like being in clubs, that could be a way to go. Bartending School would only take between a week to a month. I could be done with it licensed and ready to go. Or there is the army. Cleveland has a good ROTC program which is an option when you look at housing and paying for the rest of tuition and books. Well it seems my choices are made without me even having to think about them. First Bartending School, then job, then ROTC. I have a plan and there is no breaking of my trust in any of it.

Feeling that I am finally really getting my life back on track I make my way back to the hotel. I have a couple of questions to answer and the best place for that would be the hotel's business room.

"Has anyone seen Faith around?" I hear Buffy ask as I walk into the library. Wow it has been three weeks and they are only noticing that she is gone now. I've counted every single day. I have felt the emptiness yet they haven't noticed a thing. I have a ticket to fly up to Cleveland for Christmas. The parentals are going to be busy with holiday parties and I have a feeling I won't be missed.

"No strangely I haven't." Giles says almost in wonder. He's Faith's watcher too, he should know that she is missing. True she should have probably told him but it is his responsibility to keep tabs on her.

"I stopped by at her place but the manager told me she checked out. I asked when but he said he couldn't remember. Did she say she was going somewhere?" Buffy asks with that small crease in the middle of her brow that says oh I am Buffy and I am deep in the land of concern. Please what a load of shit.

"No she didn't. I swear that girl is incredibly irresponsible. She rarely checks in and I know she ignores half the things I tell her." Giles replies and do the words pompous ass come to mind or what? Part of me wants to stick up for Faith but the other part wants to let them stew in worry. Faith always listens to what Giles says the problem is he rarely speaks to her. Irresponsible? Isn't it irresponsible of him to not know where his other slayer is? God I hate these people sometimes.

"Hey Cordelia I've been meaning to talk to you." Turning around I see Michael walk in; tall dark and handsome but the intellectual level of a pea. I suppose beauty and brains don't always get along especially if you included athlete, football athlete; must be the brain damage.

"Hey Mike." I don't ask what he wants because even if I don't care he is still going to say his bit.

"Where's that friend of yours? You know the one who works at the Spearmint Rhino? I would love her digits. After I saw her little number last month I've been dying to meet her. I saw you with her so I know you're gonna help me out right?" He tells me with a little smile that says he thinks Faith is easy. Wow are all guys such idiots?

"Out of town on business Mike." I state simply I have no desire to tell the truth and Faith would probably kill me.

"What was her name Buffy, Bambi….no it was Bella! Well can ya give her my number I would love to take a girl like her out some time? Who knew you had such interesting friends Cordelia." Maybe he has more brains than I thought; sadly they are all located south of the border. Nodding my head I take his number and wait for him to leave.

Ripping up the paper I dump it in the trash in disgust. As if Faith would date a moron like that. He may look like a Greek god but Faith needs a little more in the head than air. The fact that he has mostly man parts wouldn't of helped his case anyway.

"The Spearmint Rhino? What kind of place is that Cordelia?" Buffy asks me dragging my attention back to them.

"That would be none of your business Buffy. My friends are none of your business." I state emphatically having no desire to let her pry into Faith's business.

"Well have you seen Faith around? Mom wants me to ask her over for Christmas." Buffy tells me with a put upon smile.

"No and Faith isn't my responsibility she is Giles's, he should be keeping tabs on her not me." I tell her with the air of arrogance I have worked on since I turned 12. Turning my back I walk out of the library without another word. How dare she act so put upon? As if it is such hard work being around Faith. The mere fact that her mother had to push Buffy to invite Faith over for Christmas says a lot about Buffy. Why do they have to treat her like she is nothing more than a tool? Could they be any more callous? Shaking off my aggravation I head to class deciding to get Harmony to pick up the book I need later. If I see Buffy again today I swear I might just smack the living daylight out of her.


	6. Winter Visit

Cleveland is fucking cold, plain and simple. There is nothing I hate more than doing patrol on a night when I think my tit could freeze off. We are not in the negatives but it is fucking close. Patrol here is a relatively simple affair. I check out the cemeteries three nights a week and do the streets around the clubs three nights a week. I finished my bartending course in a week and got a job at Club 22 a large amount of the college crowd visit on the weekends so it's a decent salary. I've also finished my application for the ROTC scholarship. I rented a studio apartment since I don't think I could stand living on campus. The idea of having to justify staying out late or the bruises and cuts to a roommate would be aggravating at best.

The studio is decent on East 26th street; it's a short walk to campus and a slightly longer one to work. I've been thinking about getting either a car or a bike cause walking in this cold is the shit. Money is not quiet tight but I'm not rolling in it. I've done the math and I can afford school, the studio, and my expenses but any luxury items are out including a plane ride to SunnyD in case of emergency. If I get into ROTC and the scholarship then I am in the clear for the luxury items. Overall I have to say my life is looking up.

My patrol is almost done and I have to take a cab to go pick up Cordelia. It's Christmas Eve and she is on her way here. To say I am excited would be an understatement. I have missed Cor so much. Never thought I would be the kind of person to feel lonely but now I do. We talk and call each other every other night but it's not the same. I miss her.

The ride to the airport is relatively short. Paying the cab driver I watch him go. Normally I would tell him to wait but I have no clue how long it would take Cor to get off the plane and claim her bags. I don't want to waste a small fortune on a taxi.

Walking to baggage claims I look at the monitor and find her flight. Baggage claim area2. Walking over I stand around and wait for Cor to come down. It's only a weeklong visit but I know my Cor has brought luggage. There is no way that girl would travel light.

"Faith!" The shout brings my attention to the beautiful brunette walking over.

"Cor you made it." I tell her with a smile giving her a big hug. Normally I'm not the biggest toucher but if I know you I am comfortable with touching. Casual touching I use only when I flirt and that is just for the image. I hate being touched by people I don't really know.

"Of course I made it silly. I've missed you way to much not to come. Though seeing the snow from the plane is making me wish that you had come to Sunnydale instead." She smiles as she says it. I know she would rather I only go to Sunnydale for the sake of the hellmouth. Cor wants me as far away from Buffy for as long as possible. She thinks I still need to heal.

"Uh huh as if you would put me through another long ass bus ride just to spend Christmas with you. You get the two hour flight; I get a thirty hour drive. Plus I know you have been dying to see my new place. Let's get your bag and brave the cold. Thankfully you brought a jacket." I take a good look at her clothes and am happy to find she is wearing jeans, a warm cashmere sweater and a down jacket on her arm. She should be warm enough if all of her clothes are like that.

Getting her bag which I was right it is large enough to carry my whole wardrobe which isn't saying much. I own maybe 1/10 of the amount of clothes that Cor owns. I take her bag and lead her out. Hailing a cab I put the bag in the trunk and give him my address.

"So how is everything in Sunnydale?" I ask wondering if they have even notice that I have been gone.

"I'll tell ya when we get to your place. Lot's happened. On my part about me since you care so much. I've been fine. School is the same bore it has always been and I've recovered from the Xander fiasco. I've actually made it into a bit of sport making his life a little bit more miserable. Honestly I can almost forgive Willow. She should feel ashamed of herself for hurting Oz but Xander is the one solely responsible for hurting me. He made the decision to cheat. If Willow had come on to him that would be fine, but what they did, they did together. So now I take my pleasure in pointing out all of his deficiencies of which there are plenty." Listening to her chat away I can see the sadness in her eyes.

I suppose she hoped for more when it came to Xander. Overall I don't think he is a bad guy, he might even be a good guy, jut young and stupid. Guys think with their dicks not their heads which tends to lead to a lot of heartache for the people around them. I just wish that particular dick had done a little less thinking and his head had done a little more. Maybe he will redeem himself a little more in the future. However that future redemption will not stop me from torturing him a little the next time I see him.

Getting in out in front of my building I pay the driver and get Cordelia's bag. Lugging it up to my apartment I let us in and give her the grand tour. It's relatively small but way larger than my shitty room in Sunnydale. There's a bathroom with a tub (The key to any slayer's happiness), my bed is in the main room the kitchen is small but out of the way, and there is enough space for a couch and TV. The kitchen is cut off from the rest of the room by a counter which also serves as my breakfast table and dining table. Overall I like it. Everything works, nothing smells, and no one has every slept in my bed except for me and now Cor.

"What do ya think?"

"Not bad considering you're a college student. Lord knows its way better then living in the skezzy motel room and nicer than a dorm room. So where am I spending the night?"

"With me, duh, it's a queen size bed Cor there is no reason for either of us to sleep on the couch." I tell her while motioning to the bed. "Unless you are afraid to sleep with me?" I goad just to get a rise out of her.

"As if, I've slept with you before, I was just asking to be polite. I didn't want to assume that just because I was staying over that I would get the bed or that I would share with you." She tells me with a huff.

"Uh huh sure Cor, sure. Come on let me make us something to eat. I've been practicing my cooking skills since I finally have a kitchen. I would love a second opinion." I tell her while moving over to the kitchen.

Setting out a couple of pans and bowls I start my prep work. It's ten o'clock here but it's only seven in Sunnydale. Turning on the oven I take out the chicken breast I defrosted earlier today. Placing it in a bowl I season it lightly and bread it. Laying it on a baking sheet I slide it into the oven and put on the timer. Moving on I set some water to boil and peel a dozen potatoes. Once the water is boiling I set in the peeled and diced potatoes letting them cook. Next comes the vegetables. Taking out some Broccoli, Cauliflower, garlic, and carrots I steam them until that are soft. Pureeing the vegetables I season them lightly before plating them. Then comes the potatoes which are almost fully cooked. I sauté them with diced garlic, onions, and a couple of sliced green peppers. The chicken comes out last and wa la dinner is served. Plating all of the food I set it at the counter and call Cordelia over. She was busy freshening up as she calls it.

"Wow Faith that actually looks good and it smell even better." She tells me and I take it for the compliment it is.

"Well a girl has to learn how to cook. I had the basics down since I was a kid but this is the first time I've had a real opportunity to explore. I have to say I do enjoy cooking but I don't think I would ever do it professionally."

"Well your good I can tell ya that. Speaking of professions have you decided what you're going to study? School starts in what three weeks. Have you picked out your classes already?" She asks while taking a bite of the chicken. Closing her eyes she saviors the flavor and that is the biggest compliment I could possibly get about my cooking.

"Actually I have it all planned out. I want to go into Chemical engineering. I've to register but I am planning to take English 101, General chem., Calc., Intro to Engineering design, and a required student orientation course, I also have an intro to military science and an intro to leadership skills for ROTC. Overall my first semester will be hectic to say the least. There will be no time to party for this girl." I tell her with a little sigh, as if I would miss partying, I work at a club. I would love a little more peace not noise.

"Seems like you have your work cut out for you, good it will keep you busy and your mind off her. Again I beg of you take the time to meet someone Faith. You deserve to be happy. I know that you think you're her soul mate and vice versa but at this moment she is stuck on Angel. That girl cannot see past her own drama. She won't see you and you shouldn't limit your life because of her. Maybe one day she'll wake up and see how wonderful you are but it won't be tomorrow or any time soon for that matter. Right now she see's you as a burden even though you're not even there. Find a bit of happiness will you for me?" She touches my hand and I know she is serious. I've already admitted it to myself but I'll let her feel like she is the one who helped influence my decision.

"I'll try Cor, I'll try, and I can't make any promises though. I've met a couple of guys and girls from the college already and some are nice I just didn't see any one who sparked an interest ya know?" It's the truth; none of them have sparked even the smallest amount of curiosity to learn anything beyond face value.

"It's better than nothing. When it comes to Sunnydale as you asked earlier there isn't much I can tell you. I've worked at making Xander's life a little more miserable but beyond that not much has happened. We do have new girl named Anya and she's a decent enough girl, not a bad sense of fashion. I did have an encounter of sorts with Buffy and Giles. Seems that they are at a loss as to where you are. Did you forget to tell a certain someone where you were going?" She asks me all sweetness.

"Yeah I might have. I decided I would serve them a little bit of just deserts. I left without notice but I did ask the manager of the motel and paid him extra to forward my number to anyone who stopped by for a couple of weeks. I figured if they wanted to see me or get in contact with me they would get my number from the manager. Seems they took too long and he got rid of it." I was responsible but I did want them to work for it a bit.

"I figured something along those lines. So are you going to call them and let them know where you are?"

"Nope, I plan on letting them sweat it out for a little bit. Buffy told me once that it was her town and she had been managing it just fine without me. Well now she can manage it. I do ask though that you call me if anything big comes up. I don't care about their day to day stuff just apocalypse type of action. I know they got something coming up with the sisterhood of the jhe or something like that but I can't remember the specifics like date and time. So ya got to call me when that comes about. I know you hate them right now but keep an ear out to see if anything comes up regarding the sisterhood. They are some pretty rowdy demons. They plan on opening the hellmouth and we can't have that now, can we? Plus it's a great excuse to come see you."

"Sometimes that really creeps me out that you've seen the future that you know when certain things are going to happen. I still wonder why you don't stop them from happening before they are even set in motion." She asks the big question with a perplexed look.

"Because I have no idea what would happen if I did. If I killed the mayor before he even starts his ascension I could change events in ways I can't predict. Plus right now he is still human. He may be a hundred years old and not look a day over forty but he is still human. I've killed before Cor and I don't think I can kill him. I have memories of him as a father to me. The first man I came to trust in over four years. I just can't kill him. He is set in his ways and there isn't anything I can do about it. I could stop him from getting the box he needs to ascend but that might just be delaying the inevitable. No I think everything has to happen as it did to a certain extent. I've already taken myself out of the equation and I still don't know what the repercussions for my actions are going to be." It's a question I've gnawed on for more than one hour during patrol.

"Alright, I'll keep my ears open to what is going on in their pathetic little lives. So can you believe that one of the guys in school saw your little number at your old club?" She asks me and I start to blush. "Yup, he saw you and liked what he saw. Obviously he thought you were something of a bimbo because he had the gale to come up to me and ask for your number, in front of Buffy and Giles of all people." The blush is getting a little bit strong and my sense of humiliation is peaking. "Thankfully you used a different name at the club cause the idiot called you Bella. For a moment I thought he was going to say Faith. I thought it was all over when he was trying to remember your name out loud. Can't wait till prom now, I am sure he is going to recognize you there, I am dying to see how you react." She bursts out laughing and I can tell it is from my expression.

I am utterly horrified. Bad enough to be a stripper, worse to have a student from Sunnydale see me with god only knows how many other students from Sunnydale. Oh my god. My life that was looking so good a moment ago is looking a bit darker now. How in the world will I show my face in that town again?


	7. Same Old

"Faith it's time I think. They haven't said it but with the way Buffy and Willow have been acting I know something is up." Cordelia tells over the phone. Giving my thanks I hang up and call the airport to book a ticket to Sunnydale. Sadly it's the middle of the fing week and I still have class. Looks like I might be missing a day or two.

Opening my laptop I email my professors telling them there is a family emergency that I have to attend and that I will be back by the weekend. If there is any work or assignments please email them to me and I will pass them in immediately. It's the best I can do and hopefully it's enough. Packing a bag I take my text books, a couple of changes of clothes, and my wallet and cell. My plane leaves in two hours so I book it to the airport.

I do wish Cor was a little more involved with the Scoobs leaving without knowing if the danger is immediate is a little aggravating. I am going to be missing all of my classes for at least three days. Thankfully my chem. Lab was yesterday. We are only allowed to miss three labs and then you fail. I've yet to miss one and I would rather not miss any.

The flight to L.A is tedious but relatively short. Getting out of the plane I go straight out the airport. I've only brought my back pack and one carry-on bag. I find it's easier to travel light unlike Cor and her luggage. Hailing a taxi I give directions to the bus station. It's a large enough expense taking a plane out here I can't afford to take a taxi all the way to Sunnydale. Hoping on to the bus I am almost anxious to get to Sunnydale. There is no point going in to the school today since it's already 8pm and it's going to take another two hours to get to Sunnydale.

The ride felt torturous to say the least. Hoping out I make my way to the motel and get amazingly enough my old room. There is a bit of irony here I swear to it. Tossing my bag on to the only remaining chair in the room I curse my lack of forth thought. I should have remembered to bring some sheets. There is no way that I am sleeping in between those sheets. Who knows how many people have slept in them since they were last washed. No thanks. Looks like I will be spending the night on top of the covers.

Reaching for the phone I give Cor a buzz and let her know I am in town. She tells me to stop by in the morning and walk her to school. Giving a grunt in reply I hang up and go back outside. The stake I brought with me didn't show or get confiscated when I went through security. I wish I had taken my time before leaving home. Now I am here in Sunnydale with only one stake and no other weapons. That's just great.

Walking to the school I figure there is no time like the present to get me at least one or two knives. Two ways going to the school can go; one I see Giles or two I don't. Either way works for me. The walk is a bit long but the streets are clear. My senses are quiet so I know that neither Buffy nor any of the creepies are near me.

Breaking into the library is easy enough. The whole school is closed and it seems Giles has gone home for the night. Must not be as big an apocalypse as I thought since he isn't spending the night here. Going to the back office I find his weapons chest and take my pick. First choice is a nice eight inch knife, strong base, well made and sharp. Second comes a small sword, taking out a harness I remove my shirt and strap it on along with the sword. If the sisterhood is out and about I want more than one knife on my person. Closing the chest I put it back in place and sneak back out of the library. Time for patrol.

Walking through Shady heights I am grateful Sunnydale has twelve cemeteries. It makes it a lot less likely that I will run in to Buffy. Searching the ground I find the occasional good piece of wood. Picking them up I take them along with me until I find a good tomb to sit on. Taking a seat I begin whittling. Unlike other towns I know here in SunnyD even sitting down and waiting will get me at least one vampire.

Whittling away I work through four stakes before a vampire spots me and comes over for a visit. Amazingly enough it is the one vampire I would rather not see.

"Faith?" He asks as if wondering whether or not he is seeing a mirage. Looking closely at the vampire in front of me I realize that in a way he is. The only time he's met me it was when I was trying to kill him. I suppose that was not the best introduction. Releasing a sigh I figure I might as well let the water flow under the imaginary bridge.

"Ya wanna sit down?" I ask wondering whether or not he'll risk coming closer.

"Buffy has been worried about you." He tells me as he sits down. My heart takes a small leap at the words but I know she only has eyes for him.

"Of course she is." I tell him and let out a bit of sarcasm. I feel for this guys a bit. I know I do. He cared about me at least a little bit. He tried more than the others and for that I have to give him props. I may never really like him or respect him all that might but I do respect and like a little.

"She is." He states simply and I wonder how long he can stay quiet. In the future it's always me who initiate the conversation. This time I'd like to know how long it takes before he talks.

Ignoring Angel completely I put down the stake I just finished and pick up a longer branch that I found. Normally I would just break it down and make multiple stakes but I figure I got a lot of time to kill before sunrise might as well make something different. Slowly working out the wood I shape it to look vaguely like a cane.

"Faith? Where have you been?" Wow he actually managed to stay quiet for a whole half hour I think. I've got the rough shape done so I know it's been a while. I am rather impressed. I may feel comfortable with him, in my own way, but I know he is not even remotely comfortable with me. Strangely that makes me smile.

"That's not your business Fang. It never was and it never will be. You worry bout your girl and I'll worry bout myself." I state simply. Strangely I hold a little more respect for him. Pity he is a vampire. I have to give him props for being around me, I could easily have staked him already. He is either a little dumber than I thought or braver. The bit of me he has seen was kicking his ass, takes a lot of nerve to come to me in a cemetery without any witnesses. Hell I could stake him right now and Buffy would never even know.

"True but I am here for you if you need someone to talk to. Being a slayer is lonely enough you shouldn't encourage it." He tells me while placing his hand lightly on my shoulder. Shifting quickly I grab one of my new stakes and slam him flat on the tomb. Holding the stake over his unbeating heart I stare him in the eye.

"Fang you have a lot of balls laying your hands on me but don't let your courage get ahead of you. I could stake your ass right now and no one would be the wiser. No one knows I'm in town yet and no one would suspect me. You might have Buffy wrapped around your little finger cause you fucked her but you don't have me. I don't like the fact that you're a vampire; honestly I don't really like you. Next time you decide to give a little speech about the life of a slayer; don't. I don't want to hear your diatribes, advice, or complaints. I may tolerate you, I may even save your existence one day, but I will not allow you to touch me or become buddy fucking buddy with me." Getting up I release him and wipe my hands as if I touched something slimy. "Go on your merry fucking way and leave me be."

Nodding slightly I watch him get up and walk away. God, what a douche bag. To think she let that thing mount her. I shudder at the mere thought. His cold flesh touching me was enough to make me want to vomit. True I went to him once, he held me in comfort once, he fed from me once, but not this time.

Returning to my seat I pick up the cane I was working on. Sad that I didn't bring out any sandpaper otherwise I could have made a really nice cane. Working over the wood I make a couple of designed engravings of vines going from the bottom of the cane to the head. It's time consuming and enjoyable. Getting as far as I can on the cane I move on to the stakes. Normally I wouldn't bother to do any engravings or designs but I have time to waste. Stake after stake I work a design, something that I find meaningful to me. By the time I finish my last stake the sun has risen. Looks like I was right in my assumption that at least one vampire would pass me by sadly it was the wrong one.

"Morning sunshine you ready for school?" I ask Cor with a big smile on my face.

"Yes though I wish I was even a bit as cheery as you are." She says while giving me a hug then taking her coffee. "Have you been to sleep yet?" She asks even though she knows the answer. Shaking my head in response I start walking and let her fall in to step. She knows about the nightmares but she also knows that I tend to sleep better when she sleeps with me. We are so border line relationship sometimes. I wish she was a bit bi instead of straight laced. Well you can't have everything.

"Guess who I saw last night?" I ask her with a devious little smile.

"Who?"

"Angel, he approached me while I was wasting the night away at Shady Heights. It was an interesting encounter to say the least. I swear if it weren't for the fact that I know he is a champion of good I would have staked his ass. Fuck the temptation was so bitterly sweet. I had him under me for a second and in the back of my mind I wondered at how easy it would be to make him disappear. I thought fuck the consequences but then my brain came back to work and I told him to fuck off. I don't think I will ever have another perfect opportunity. Oh well." Releasing a sigh and a small smile I look over at Cor and see a surprised mildly shocked look on her face.

"Well it's a good thing you didn't kill him I guess. Though after last year I am not sure I would be too sorry. I think the whole vampire-slayer relationship is about as healthy as your relationship with Buffy. Overall I say you are all emotionally stunted individuals who need a reality check." There's my Cordelia always down with the sound advice. Chuckling lightly I let silence fall between us.

Walking in to the school I give her a small hug goodbye and walk to the library. She still wants some space from the Scooby gang so I won't press her to come with me. She is still healing from Xander and Willow's betrayal. Entering the library I see the gang en masse. The look on their faces is rather priceless. It's as if they are seeing a ghost.

"Nice of you to join us Faith," Xander says with sarcasm dripping from his tongue like honey.

Turning a bit I look him straight in the eye and focus all of my attention on him. "If you would like Xander I can leave. I am sure a big strong man like you is more than capable of handling the Sisterhood of Jhe, make sure you win they like to eat the flesh of their foes that have been defeated in battle." Turning around I begin to walk back to entrance.

"Faith wait!" Buffy calls out to me, stopping me in my tracks. Turning back I look at her and wait. "How do you know about the sisterhood?" She asks a confused little pout marring her features.

"I have my sources Buffy. The hellmouth will open. However Xander over there has made it clear you don't need my help so good luck. I figure if the sisterhood doesn't eat him then the creature from the hellmouth will, pity I won't be around to watch." Turning back around I start to leave again only to be stopped by Xander.

"Faith wait, I'm sorry I didn't mean it, please come back. You know we need your help." He tells me almost pleading. Undoubtedly either Willow or Buffy kicked him under the table. Turning back again I walk towards the table again.

"Don't beg Xander it only makes you look more pathetic than you already are. Now do we know when the sisterhood is going to try to open the mouth of hell or what?" I ask already running out of patience.

"How did you determine that it was the sisterhood of Jhe?" Giles asks coming out of the office.

"As I said I have my sources. I keep my ears open thus I hear things." I tell him leaving my face blank of all emotion.

"Well I don't have a clear idea as to when it's going to happen. Honestly I didn't even know it was the sisterhood of the Jhe we were facing." He tells me while taking off his glasses and wiping them clean.

"Call me when you know the details. I'll be at the motel same room." I tell him and leave before they have a chance to ask any more questions. God I cannot stand the drama that is about to occur. I still remember fighting that beast and that spell that knocked Angel out. Buffy looked like she was going to fall apart. Lord knows this time around I am leaving before I have to witness the Buffy/Angel drama.

I spend the majority of the day in my motel room sleeping. I wake up to the sound of the phone ringing next to me.. "Someone better be dead or dying." I answer.

"Faith it's happening tonight. I need you at the library as soon as possible." I hear Giles say before he hangs up. Well that was fast. Looking at the clock I see it's past eight. I hadn't thought I would sleep that long, must have needed it though.

Getting up I hop into the shower and get dressed. Pulling on the small sword's harness I sheath it put on my jacket and slide the knife into my boot, two stakes in my waistband and I am ready to go. The walk to the school is uneventful and I am mildly surprised. Getting into the library I find Willow, Angel, Buffy, and Giles waiting. Looks like it's time for business. Everything is drawn and the furniture has already been moved along with Oz I see. Walking to the weapons closet I pull out a larger sword and signal to Giles that I am ready.

He hesitates for a minute and I know that he is debating whether or not to attempt talking to me. Letting out a small smile I wait for all hell to break loose and am not disappointed when it does. For what feels like days but could only have been hours or less we fight the beast. Heads going in every direction it's a battle to control it and keep it from coming out too far. I see Buffy flying past me and I hear her shouting directions at me.

Focusing my attention on the beast I keep it contained to the best of my ability. Giles is chanting in the background and Angel is fighting a sister from the Jhe. Overall it is chaos pure and simple. Time flashes by and as I am thrown and tossed about in the waves of violence I wonder how in the world I survived this once. Finally I hear the last of the incantation and the beast has been bound and retreating. Looking over I see Angel and Buffy bending over him tears dripping down her face. Not wanting to deal with this a second time. I lift my sore ass up and walk out. I have better things to do then watch unnecessary drama. And just like last time they don't even notice that I am gone.


	8. Late Night Talks

The semester is over and I have never been so grateful in my entire life. Finals are the educations systems idea of torture and they implement it with vicious accuracy. The one time when you should be excited is ruined by the fact that you now have to cram and cram and cram for a test that may or may not define whether or not you pass. It is cruel and unusual. Being a chemical engineer student is not even remotely easy and my brain is actually hurting from the amount of information that was stuffed into it. Who would have thought following my chosen path would be so difficult.

You would think having a doctor and a lawyer for parents would mean I would want to follow in their footsteps. No, instead I decided to break the mold. Ronan is in med school already and Shane is an undergrad studying Political science in preparation for law school. They kept with the mold. Mom and Dad must be so proud. I don't know what Ken plans to do but he's only a freshman in high school by now. I've lost track of my family since Kate died. Though she never let me visit she did keep me informed of what was happening in their lives. I needed the connection; I needed to know that even though I didn't feel like I belonged in my family anymore, that I still had a place there.

I chose Chemical engineering because it was different. I want to make a difference and not by suing, defending, or prosecuting someone. I want to find the next cure, to make the next weapon, to change the world. Not that I don't respect my mother as a doctor. She heals and that is important but I've never really had a desire to tend the sick and the dying. I can suture a wound, bandage one, and set bones but I have never wanted to do it for the rest of my life.

Now that the semester is over and finals are done for me if not for everyone else I am on my way back to Sunnydale. I lied to the extreme to be able to go in time for prom. I had to tell all my professors that my grandfather had taken a turn for the worse when I left to take care of the Sisterhood of Jhe. This time I just expounded on the lie and told them that my grandfather was on Hospice and that he could die any day. I told them all that I needed to be there for him, and for my family. It was a large lie but it got me the privilege of taking all my exams early. The truth of the matter is that my grandfather on my mother's side died when I was six and the one on my father's died when I was twelve. My grandpa Seamus is the reason I have a trust fund in the first place. When he died he left a million dollars each in trust for me and my brothers along with my two cousins; Kennedy and Seamus. My mother and Uncle Aiden got the rest of the estate. I do feel a bit guilty for monopolizing on the demise of my grandfathers but it was necessary.

So here I am getting off the bus in Sunnydale. The fact that I always end up back in this town is starting to get a little old. If it weren't for Cordelia I would definitely not be here right now, not for another week at least. I know the Mayor is going to ascend during graduation so there is no reason to be here until then. But Cor does come first and she needs a date and I promised to be her date for Prom. This time I actually have luggage of which I abhor. I bought an outfit for prom and I brought weapons for graduation.

Walking to the motel I rent the same room as before, mildly wondering if they keep it in reserve for when I return. This time I planned a little bit better and brought sheets and pillow cases. I have every intention of having a good night's sleep. Getting in to my room I unpack and iron my outfit for tomorrow and hang it up. There is no way I am going to look shabby for Cordelia. After I finish setting up I collect a couple of weapons and head out. It's a nice night and I am itching for a little bit of action.

Letting my sense roam free I keep on alert not just for vampires but for Buffy. From what Cordelia told me it took a while for them to notice I was gone. And when I say a while I mean a couple of days. It truly cements the fact that to them I am a tool to be used and discarded at need. Walking towards Sunset park cemetery I wonder why the council has not reacted to my disappearance. I had originally planned to tell Giles that I was leaving but his constant lack of care or regard turned me off. I wanted to see how long it would take for him to notice that I was gone. Sadly I was not disappointed in my expectations that they would not need me until they wanted something.

Occasionally looking at Buffy and Giles relationship I am astonished that that the council allows it. For all intents and purposes Giles presents himself to be a typical British councilman. Yet he has not required his slayer to live with him. He has not taken her out of school and made sure she was privately educated. He has not severed her connections emotionally to the world. And he is not attentive to her nightly activities or occasional lack thereof. Buffy on the other hand treats Giles with occasional insolence and contempt. She flaunts tradition with ease and has never been reprimanded. True she does take her responsibility seriously even as she curses it and that is respectable. Still I wonder why there has been no real interference from the council.

Cordelia has tried to keep my updated on the lives of the Scooby's but these last couple of weeks I have not had as much time as I wished. Between working extra shifts, studying for finals, and slaying I've been stretched a little tight. The extra shifts were to make enough money to pay for prom. I've rented a limo, bought an outfit, a corsage for Cor, and a flight to here. That does not include saving enough to pay for my time here. Overall it's been a rough couple of weeks and I am exhausted.

I know some of what is happening here but not much. I know Giles has been fired from his position as Buffy's watcher and mine but that is about it. I know what would have happened originally but I have been taken out of the picture. By now I would have already sided with the mayor, my "treachery" revealed, and the new watcher Wesley would have already arrived. Without me in the picture I honestly don't know what has happened. I know for sure that it took them a while to notice I was gone but that's about it.

Walking through Sunset I finally get a twinge. Looking around casually I spot my prey slightly behind me and to the side. I slow my pace almost asking the vampire to catch up to me. Thankfully he complies. Taking a closer look at him I see he is fresh from the grave. His suit still has a bit of dirt on it. I hate the fresh ones they are way too hungry to focus and thus are the easiest to kill. Releasing a sigh I wait for him to attack and am not disappointed when he does.

A roundhouse kick catches him unprepared and lands squarely on his jaw. Watching him fall with a dazed look on his face I decide it's not worth the effort to draw this out. Pulling out my stake I slam it into his chest before he is able to even get back to his feet. Releasing another sigh I wipe the ashes from my legs and move along.

My senses ping again and this time it's a little more familiar. I don't know when I started sensing him but I can tell the difference. Maybe it's because he has a soul or the fact that I have known him for so long but for some reason I can tell its Angel. Turning around I rest my butt on the nearest gravestone and watch him approach. Again my thoughts wonder to how she can love him or vice versa. They can never share a life together. They can never go out on an afternoon picnic, or stand in the sunshine just enjoying it. All of her experiences he has already lived through. There is no surprise for him, no common ground for her. It's not just because I want her to myself or because the mayor has already reiterated everything I have thought. It's a fact that their relationship can never go beyond a certain point. Hell, they can't even sleep together without him turning evil. True, not that I want to picture it, he can pleasure her but she can never pleasure him for fear of him turning, what kind of existence is that?

"You know for some reason I thought I made it clear that I didn't want you around me. Are you deaf or dumb?" I ask him while looking him straight in the eye.

"You did make it clear but I was wondering how you always know when to be here?" He asks me.

"I am here for Prom nothing more. Cor is my date and I promised to be here ages ago." I tell him being evasive.

"I don't think that is the only reason why you're here. You came at the exact moment we needed you for the sisterhood of the Jhe and now you're here when the mayor's plans are starting to culminate. What do you know Faith? How do you know?" He asks me with suspicion written all over his face. It feels like he is accusing me of working with the mayor.

"What I know or don't know is none of your business Fang. I thought I told you that before. How I live my life, where I live my life, or with who I live my life is my business not yours. You're not here to save me this time and hopefully I won't be the one who saves you." I tell him with a bit of aggravation lacing my voice.

"Does she know you love her?" He asks me with a curious look. For a minute I am stuck on who he is talking about Cor or Buffy.

"Cor knows I love her otherwise I wouldn't be here." I tell him firmly.

"Not Cordelia, Buffy. You're desperately in love with her. Why else would you abandon Sunnydale without a word as to where you are but still come back when she needs you? That's why you keep coming back isn't it? Cause she needs you. You put out your feelers hoping to catch word of her of what is going on in Sunnydale so you can help her. Maybe be her hero? Maybe then she'll actually see you? Is that your hope Faith? That one day she will see you?" He tells me with a slight sneer and I can't help but wonder what got up his ass and bit him.

"You know Fang I think she finally dumped you. It's the only reason for you to be wandering around here without purpose. How does it feel? Probably worse than when she shoved her sword into your chest. I suppose she is the type of girl who really can slice your heart apart." I tell him with a smirk of my own.

"She didn't dump me. I dumped her. I told her that we couldn't be together anymore. That she deserves everything I can't give her. She deserves the light, not to be stuck in the darkness with me." He tells me and for a moment I actually feel for him. I know it must be hard. Buffy leaves a mark; she brands you with fire and steel even if she doesn't mean it, or realize she is doing it.

"Come on let me buy you a drink a Willy's bar." I tell him while taking his elbow to guide him. Part of me wonders what the hell I am doing but the other part see's a kindred soul. True he has had more with her than I ever will but I can recognize the broken note in his voice. I know it all too well myself.

The walk to Willy's is done in silence and I know it's more to do with us being so in tune with each other. Ordering a blood and sand for myself and a blood with whiskey for Fang I take a seat and wait for him to do the same. I suppose it's only right and necessary for the blood sucker to have a drink after losing what he undoubtedly thinks is his soul mate.

"You ever think Fang that maybe she isn't the one for you?" I ask him while taking a sip of my drink. It's smooth and slightly sweet and could easily knock me on my ass if I am not careful. "I mean really if she was your soul mate it would be the cruelest card the fates have ever dealt. You are hundreds of years older than her. You can never really share in her experiences. You will live forever and she will eventually die probably sooner rather than later. I mean the girl has died once already. Why would the fates ever make you her soul mate? Why would you or anyone else ever be cursed like that? I mean I get it. It is better to have loved than never to have loved at all but really who ever said that must never have been in love. Love hurts, love brings joy, hate, and everything else in the spectrum of emotions and to have done it, to have fallen in love and lost it so quickly is the greatest punishment of all. True I suppose part of you deserves that, the vampire demon in you, but not your soul. Your soul was not present when you killed all the people so really you should be absolved of the crime. True you will have to seek redemption because the demon is an extension of the desires of your soul. So for you it is a bit understandable for you to suffer but what has Buffy done to deserve a love she can't have? In the end you did the right thing. You gave her a chance to find her soul mate. To finally find a bit of happiness in what is really a very difficult life. Remember that if nothing else when you wish to return to her." I tell him while taking another slow long drink. I have no idea why I said as much as I did. Whether it was to make him feel better or to justify my happiness that he has left her? I know it won't bring her to me. It was bound to happen anyway. I remember she told me he left soon after she stabbed me.

"I suppose you are right. I don't know why I am talking to you about this. I should hate you a bit because you love her. Don't bother protesting I know you love her. I can tell every time you look at her. I can see the longing in your eyes. You hide it well. Sometimes I think you are the best actor I have ever seen. You can be so cool with her so nonchalant. Yet I have seen your eyes. Your eyes give you away Faith. It's a pity she's never looked in to them." He tells me with a sad smile. I can't believe we are having this conversation. That we are sitting here talking like we are friends.

Taking another deep swallow I marvel at the changes that have happened in my life. It took a long time for me and Angel to hit this point. I hoped to prevent it from happening in this lifetime but it seems I was unable to avoid it. Angel and I are kindred spirits how despicable. Makes me want to poke out my own eyes but I can't avoid the reality of it all. I thought that by changing my life, my future, I could change the relationships I would form and I did, just not the ones I had expected to change. Oh well I suppose there are worse things than being friends or kindred spirits with a blood sucking corpse who has fucked the girl I love; shit who am I kidding.


	9. Prom Night

The sky is clear and it is a perfect night. Looking at the girl next to me I wonder why my heart went in the wrong direction. It is just another reminder that the fates are a little bit crueler than I told Angel last night. If the fates had any kindness in them they would have made Cordelia my soul mate instead of my best friend. I mean she is gorgeous, she sees me, she understands me, and she loves me. Yet she doesn't love me in that way and sadly I don't love her that way either. I mean sometimes we border the line between friends and lovers but we have never crossed it.

The limo parks in front of the high school and I get out first. Holding the door open I offer my arm to help her get out. I am the perfect gentleman tonight and thus the perfect date. I want this to be a night she will always remember. Smiling at I loop her arm with mine and walk her to the gymnasium. I find Sunnydale High to be rather cheap all things considered. I remember when Ronan went to his prom it was at the Seaport Hotel in Boston.

Walking in, I look at the cheap decorations, the fake plants/trees, the disco ball, and the band on the stage. Overall it's cheap but it works. No one pays us any attention the majority already dancing. I take a close look at Cor and smile. She's in a sparkling full length dress with her hair up leaving tendrils to frame her face. She looks beautiful. Taking her hand I lead her out onto the dance floor. I know it must look weird but no one comments on us. Instead we receive a few appreciative glances from the guys and a few curious ones from the girls.

The song is slow and we are dancing nice and close. She smells of lavender and roses and moonlight. It transports us to a moonlit garden. We are so close, so into each other that the rest of the world disappears.

"Faith what are you doing here?" Willow asks disrupting our dance. "I barely recognized you." She tells me while taking a closer look at my outfit. I'm wearing a white tuxedo fashioned for a woman. The pants flair out at the cuff and hang low on my hips accentuating them. I am wearing a blood red vest the hugs my breasts giving a deep view of my cleavage but covering my nipples perfects. The Jacket is a tight fit accentuating my back, arms and drawing attention to my chest. Overall I look hot.

Turning my attention to Willow I look her up and down and see that the girl really needs a lesson in fashion. The dress looks decent though hiding her chest with that shawl ruins the effect of the dress. Her hair was either done by a blind woman or herself, not sure which. Oz looks nice with a tux that is obviously rented.

"Why wouldn't I be here Red?" I ask as if it doesn't piss me off that she is bothering me.

"Well you disappeared after the whole thing with the sisterhood and we haven't heard from you since. Why would we expect you to be here of all places? It's not like you go to school here or to school at all for that matter. I mean this isn't your kind of place. Aren't you more like bar type or club type of girl?" She tells and asks me in a bit of babble fashion.

"You are all so blind to everything and everyone. You all focus on yourselves and wait for the world to understand you, never taking the time to understand the world. You specifically think you are so smart when you can't even see what's in front of you. One day you'll figure it out. One day you'll break and this time I'll be there to watch it. You see me and you think you know me. Let me let you in on a little secret little witch; you don't know one fucking thing about me. Don't fucking assume shit you don't know." I tell her while leaning in to her personal space. I am so sick and fucking tired of these people.

The look of surprise on her face is priceless. Turning back to Cor I lead her to the punch table. I need a drink I am so angry. Sadly the only thing they are offering is punch. A little alcohol wouldn't hurt at a prom you know? Passing Cor a drink I wait for the anger to abate. The tingling at the back of my neck puts me further on edge instead. She is here, just perfect. I watch her enter and my heart stops for a minute. She looks like an angel. Her hair is half up and half down. The dress she is wearing is full length with a bow of sorts at the back. It's sleeveless and strapless. My heart starts again when she recognizes Willow and rushes to her. I can't hear what they are saying and I try not to care. Turning away from her I lead Cor around the room and further away from Buffy and friends.

"Nice job back there." Cor says next to me.

"Well I had to get us away from Buffy's eyes. Not that she would have noticed us." Buffy doesn't feel our connection like I do.

"I meant on refraining from killing Willow. I saw the look in your eye before you focused on her. I thought for a minute that you actually planned on strangling her." She tells me with a small smile.

"Well it's a public place, though even that was nothing but a small deterrent for a minute there. She does have a large set for that comment though or a serious lack of brains. I can't wait till she finally takes her own plunge. Really that entire group is so self absorbed. The sad part is that they don't change." I release a pent up sigh. Seeing the danger is over and a new song has started I lead Cor back onto the dance floor. The music is a little fast but it still allows me to get nice and close. I love touching Cor and she lets me. I do lust after her a bit and I wish that lust would transform into that type of love but I know it won't. I wonder if I can't love her the way I want will I ever love any other girl the way I want to.

"Ladies and Gentlemen it's time to announce this year's class awards." A guy I don't recognize announces on stage. Pulling away from Cor we both face the stage. Soon announcement after announcement comes up and student after student goes up to the stage to collect their reward. Finally the last award comes up and it's the class clown. Another boy, smaller in height goes up to the mike and makes a small little speech about the town and the girl who has made it a better place. The crowd parts as he calls her name and there is my angel walking up to receive her award: Class Protector. I am proud.

Wrapping my arm around Cor I hold her tight and wish for just a minute that I was holding Buffy. Shaking that thought away I give Cor a thousand watt smile and encourage her to go take pictures with me. Standing in a comfortable pose I hold her to me and we both smile for the camera. To say the least we are a hot couple. Porn movies would sell nonstop if we were in it. More than one guy drools as he looks at us.

Getting back to the dance floor I feel yet another tingle and know that Angel has arrived. Who would have thought he would show up after our talk last night? I watch as he leads her out onto the dance floor. As she rests her head onto his chest my heart clenches in misery. I had hoped never to see them together. Never to see the love she has for him. I hate them both at this very moment. My blood feels like it is on fire. I wish I had staked him either the last time or last night. I can't believe I walked that blood sucking corpse home this morning because he was too drunk to walk straight. I really can't believe it I am a true and utter fool. Lovely opportunity after lovely opportunity to stake this guy comes along and what do I do? I let him walk then I walk him home. It gets worse each time around.

The song ends and I walk Cor to the tables. We've been standing for more than an hour and from the size of her heels and mine I know her feet are hurting already. Taking a seat after her I try to relax; an impossible task. I am hyper aware of Buffy and now because of some twist of fate aware of Angel.

"Ms. Chase would you like to dance?" A British voice asks next me and slightly behind. Turning around I see Wesley. My breath nearly catches and I wait for him to recognize me. It never comes. Cordelia looks to me asking if I would mind. I nod my head for her to go. I watch as he takes her onto the dance floor. Who would have thought he would have the balls to ask her to dance. Leaning back in my chair I stare at the wall and wonder what to do next.

"Can I have this dance?" Turning around I see Angel. The little shit has bigger balls than I thought. Smiling at the irony that has to be in here somewhere I give him my hand and let him help me up.

"I thought for a moment you were going to say no." He tells me as he leads me onto the dance floor.

"I thought you would be too busy staring at Buffy to notice my existence."

"Who would ever fail to notice your existence Faith, especially in that outfit?" He asks me while giving me an appreciative look over.

"Don't think so buddy. You are not my type and I certainly am not interested in whatever you have to offer. Sadly you come with the wrong parts for my taste."I tell him with a small secret smile of my own. "Do you even know how to dance anymore?" I ask him in a teasing voice. Where did that come from?

"Do I know how to dance? I am old enough to be your great grandfather. My generation was taught how to dance when we were still in the schoolroom. I've danced with debutantes and princesses. I know the waltz, the quadrille, a ton of country dances. Overall I would make a killing being a professional dance instructor." He tells me with a smile while giving me a small twirl. I can't believe I almost feel comfortable with him. Something is wrong in this picture cause we are no longer in Kansas ladies and gentlemen.

Crossing the dance floor I ignore the world and try to enjoy the moment. It's been a while since I was able to really relax and for some reason here in this moment I am just that. Everything has changed yet nothing has. I've changed the future already. I've created relationships that didn't exist before or took much longer to develop. I'm working to create a relationship with Angel even though I am against it; it is developing none the less. I'm still having a hard time dealing with the Scooby's. I'm not ready for that type of forgiveness. True half the things I am angry about haven't even happened yet but tell that to my emotions. Tell my heart to stop being so angry for years of being ignored, betrayed, or forgotten. Tell it to forget the looks, the snide comments, or the blatant hatred in their eyes. Here and now they just ignore me, use me but it's not all I've seen or felt. It's a mixture of past, future, and present constantly clashing in my head.

"Hey Bella" I hear next to me as a hand slides my arm and pulls me away from Angel. Opening my eyes I am surprised to see a tall, black haired guy. I've never seen him before but the use of the name Bella tells me where he has seen me. He pulls me into a tight embrace and I am too shocked to even react. No moron has even been so bold. "You looked hot when you were doing your little number. In that outfit you look twice as fucking hot. I would love to see you take it off how about a private show?" He asks me while running his hands down my back over my ass and his eyes down my front suggestively. This kid has some nerve.

"How long did it take you to come up with that line?" I ask him while gently pulling away. I thought I would be embarrassed if this ever happened, frankly I just find it amusing. The look on his face says it all. "Honey let's just say you're not my type and leave it at that." I tell him and move back to the gawking Angel.

"What was that all about?" Angel asks with a confused look on his face. "Bella?" Shaking my head I refuse to answer and merely walk back to my table. What a night so far it could get worse though and I see worse is coming my way.

"Faith" Buffy states simply, Giles standing beside her with the rest of the Scoobs behind her. Like I said worse it gets.

"Yes Buffy?" I ask with as much innocence as possible.

"Why are you here?" She asks and I can feel the venom slowly leaking in to her voice.

"You know why I am here." I state keeping things simple though my succinct answers only seem to be pissing her off.

"Where were you when I needed you earlier today? If you're so good about knowing what's going on in the town, why aren't you ever here when I need you?" She asks me getting angrier by the minute.

"When haven't I been here when you needed me? The sisterhood came and I came to help. Now the mayor is getting ready to ascend and here I am. What else do you want from me Buffy? I drop everything that is going on in my life to be here for your apocalypses. I never ask for your help with anything. Yet I am always here when you really need help. You told me you had this town, that you could face everything here just fine. Well what more do you want from me?" My voice is rising with every word. I am well and truly angry. I have taken her shit in two separate lifetimes and quite frankly I am tired of it.

Shock is written on all of their faces. I don't think they honestly expected me to get pissed off. People bow down to the great and powerful Ms. Summers not get pissed off and rant. Well welcome to Rantville.

"I am sick, sick, sick, sick of your bullshit. I am tired, so fucking tired of your drama. I came to help because I know you need it. I came to help save the world not to appease you or your little fucking lap dogs. The world does not revolve around you Buffy, it never has and it never will. You may be the slayer for this town but that means very little to anyone outside of your own little fantasy world. The council, your watcher, your mom, and this whole town might be wrapped around your little finger but I am not. Don't take my help for granted because there is no force of nature or otherwise that can force me to be here, to help you through your harder battles." I tell her and make sure her friends get the message. I am not her lap dog, not now, not ever. Turning around I start to look for Cor and am surprised by her and Wesley standing next to me.

"So you are the other slayer? Faith is it? I have been curious as to your where about. Mr. Giles has been very vague. I have suspected for some time that you had gone rogue." He tells me while looking me up and down in blatant disapproval. God he is still such a fucking prude.

"Wesley is it?" I ask as if I don't already know. "I've been away from Sunnydale for more than five months. It's clear that Mr. Giles doesn't keep an eye on my where about. You've been here for several months and have failed to try to find me or report me to the council. That makes two things abundantly clear. You are incompetent and you are afraid that the council will blame you for not keeping an eye on me. So let me give you some very good advice. Don't tell the council anything. What they don't know won't hurt them and it won't hurt you. However, if I ever hear even a whisper that you have said anything foul to the council about me especially about being a rogue I will be happy to teach you a personal lesson you will never forget." I tell him while running my hand slowly down his chest. The movement could be taken in multiple ways.

"Cor let's get out of here this place is getting a bit crowded. I know of a party in L.A that you would love." I take her arm in mine and lead her out to the stunned looks of the Scoobs and co.

Cor and I left the Prom and went to the one place I know she would never be caught in, a place I didn't think I would return to; the Spearmint Rhino. The limo pulls up front and I can tell by her expression that she is not happy with me.

"Chill out Cor I know it's not your kind of place but haven't you ever been just a little bit curious?" I ask her giving her a tiny smirk.

"I can barely tolerate the fact that you worked here now you're taking me here? You must be on something Lehane." She tells me with a slight smirk. I know she is annoyed but I know she is actually curious. Cordelia Chase may be hot, sexy, and worldly but she is still a prude.

"The Bella of the ball has come back to us." I hear Tony say at the front door. Tony is built like every football player wishes he was built. His biceps are larger than my thighs, he has an eight pack, screw six, and he is black like coffee. If you met him on a dark street you might think to turn around and back away slowly. Yet he is the biggest teddy bear I have ever met. He actually cares about the girls and keeps the guys from getting too fresh.

"Tony you still here?" I ask while giving him a hug. He envelopes me and it's like being swallowed by a six foot two chocolate bar.

"Of course, waiting for the day you would grace us with your presence." He tells me with a smile. His white teeth a sharp contrast to his dark skin.

"Of course, well here I am gracing away." I tell him with a smile in return.

"You here for the show tonight or you giving us a show?" He asks and I just give him my little secret smile as an answer. Chuckling heartily he opens the door and waves us in. Waving back at him I tell him I'll see him later over my shoulder. I can feel Cordelia's tension next to me; she is both excited and nervous.

Some of the girls immediately recognize me and stop to say hi or give a hug. Undoubtedly they are both happy and sad that I am gone. Taking a seat near the stage I wave Tammy over and order a Sex on the beach. I want a drink but I don't want to get drunk. Drinking for the sake of drinking loses its appeal when it's hard to get drunk. Now I drink for the enjoyment of the flavor of the alcohol. Cor orders a Rum and Coke, a waste of a perfectly good shot of rum.

The music is half decent and the girls are giving it all they are worth as usual. Sarah is up on the main stage and as usual she looks hot. I let my eyes wander around the club and see that it's relatively packed tonight. The men are all drinking steadily and staring with longing at all the beautiful women. Never saw the joy of going to a strip club. Who wants to stare at a woman for hours and never be able to touch her, to taste her, to have her at the end of the night? No I would much rather shell out for a date and have a chance at getting lucky then shelling out to a stripper and knowing I probably don't have a snowball's chance in hell.

Looking over at Cor I can tell her eyes are riveted to Sarah and her routine. No doubt this is the first time Cor has seen a live mostly naked woman dancing around. Smiling at her shocked curiosity I watch the club enjoying the atmosphere for a change. I always hated working here but at the same time I felt in tune with the place. Showing the world a piece of myself that I hide from everyone I loved. Showing what they taught me, what they forced on to me. I was trained for this world, trained for more than this, trained to be a courtesan of the flesh. Strange that now I wish to share this piece of myself with Cor.

"Ladies and gentlemen tonight we have a very special surprise for all of you. Our favorite girl, our prodigal daughter has returned to us. Tonight she is a spectator, here to enjoy the tantalizing sights and scents of flesh. Can we convince her to give us a show? It has been so long since we have seen the bell of our ball. Ladies and gentlemen let us encourage Bella to return to our stage!" I hear Derek announce as a spotlight highlights me for the crowd. A loud cheering goes up and I swear if I could I would easily and happily castrate Derek. He loves to make money and I most certainly made him a lot of it.

Standing up I leave Cor with a pat on the back for encouragement and walk to the DJ booth. Picking up a clip on mike I request a song and make my way to the stage. The lights go out and I know the entire club is focused on me. There is a bit of power in all of this that is almost as exhilarating as slaying. A guitar cuts into the silence playing a slow melody. The spotlight shines on me. I begin a slow erotic dance.

"Give me one reason to stay here- and I'll turn right back around." I sing running my hands down my body slowly unbuttoning my jacket. "Give me one reason to stay here-and I'll turn right back around." I turn my back to the crowd and slide my jacket off my shoulders but not off completely. Turning back around I focus on Cor singing to her. "Said I don't want to leave you lonely you got to make me change my mind." I sing while pointing to her and taking of my jacket tossing it to her.

"Baby I got your number and I know that you got mine." Gyrating my hips I slide my hands down my body. "But you know that I called you, I called you too many times." Returning focus to my vest I slowly unbutton it. "You can call me baby, you call me anytime, but you got to call me." My vest is undone and my lacey blood red bra is slightly visible.

"Give me one reason to stay here- and I'll turn right back around." I sign slowly walking up to a guy sitting practically on the stage. He slides a twenty into my bra. Smiling at him I give him a gently slap and turn around. "Give me one reason to stay here-and I'll turn right back around." I walk to another customer giving him a closer look at my chest and abdomen. He slides another twenty into my bra making sure to give my nipple tweak for satisfaction. Grabbing his head I almost kiss him before tossing him away. "Said I don't want to leave you lonely you got to make me change my mind."

"I don't want no one to squeeze me-they might take away my life." I squeeze my breasts lightly. "I don't want no one to squeeze me-they might take away my life." I slide my hands around my waist hugging myself. "I just want someone to hold me and rock me through the night." I glide over to the pole and grind my hips against it.

"This youthful heart can love you yes and give you what you need." I take off my vest and toss it to Cor again. "I said this youthful heart can love you yes and give you what you need." I slide up to a customer letting him ogle me a bit. I feel him slide money into my bra. Running my hand over his body I stand up and touch my hips. "But I'm too old to go chasing you around wasting my precious time." I unbutton my pants and slowly slide them down over my hips.

"Give me one reason to stay here- and I'll turn right back around." I slide the pants the rest of the way down and off. "Give me one reason to stay here- and I'll turn right back around." I slide up to a man on my hands and knees. "Said I don't want to leave you lonely you got to make me change my mind."

"Baby just give me one reason-give me just one reason why." I crawl around the stage touching one guy after another. "Baby just give me one reason-give me just one reason why I should stay." Crawling towards Cor, I go onto my knees almost pleading with her. "Said I told you that I loved you, and there ain't no more to say." I sing before grabbing Cor and kissing her fiercely. The crowd erupts in cheers and catcalls. If you're going to go, you go out with a bang. Pulling away I smile at Cor's dazed face, until she slaps me. Giving her another smile making sure my dimple shows I get a nod which means I know she has already forgiven me.


	10. Shocking Buffy

Knocking on the motel door I wonder whether or not she will open the door. I was shocked by her response last night, we all were. I don't think I ever expected Faith to stand up to me like that and admittedly I was in the wrong. I was angered by watching her laughing and dancing with Angel. They seemed so comfortable together I couldn't help but think that there was more to their relationship. Angel set me right. He told me he had seen her each time she came back. That she had talked to him the other night, that she had comforted him. At first I thought that meant sexually since Faith does ooze sex. He said it was as friends and I believe him. Overall I was wrong to be so rude to her, to expect so much without ever giving anything back.

I don't know Faith, not really; in all honesty I haven't wanted to get to know her. I haven't wanted her to be involved in my life or in my town. That seems selfish but it is the truth. I came back from running away and within days there she was: impressing my friends, my watcher, and my mom. I felt overwhelmed by her presence, by her magnetism. Last night was something of a reality check for all of us. Willow told me Faith gave her a scathing set down and then she gave me one. I do act like the world revolves around me. Faith has done nothing but help me and I did throw that back into her face.

So now, me and the gang are here to apologize. Knocking a little more firmly I hear a groan and someone knock something over. I look at Xander and Willow trying to encourage them a bit. I know neither of them is looking forward to this apology, seriously neither am I.

"Somebody better be dead or dying." Faith says as she opens the door. I let my eye's sweep over her body and realize that she is just in a red lacy bra and thong. My eye's bug out slightly and I can hear Xander groan behind me and Willow squeak.

"Faith come back to bed." I hear behind her and I know that is Cordelia. If possible my eyes bug out even further and my jaw drops open. Faith is in bed with Cordelia wearing nothing but her underwear.

"It's the Scooby gang Cor." She states simply and doesn't bother to grab something to cover herself up. "What can I do for all of you at this time of the morning?" She asks with a smirk.

"Uh uh uh we just came to apologize for the way we have been acting towards you lately." I say no being able to fully drag my eyes away from her half naked body. Her lingerie leaves very little to the imagination. "Right guys?" I ask without looking behind me. I hear Xander groan again and I swear he is about to cream his pants. Willow merely squeaks again and I know I won't get anything coherent out of her.

"Well that is mighty nice of you. I would of thought it even nicer if you had waited until late afternoon to make your little social call. I would normally invite you all in but as you can see I am not ready to have company. Cor and I had a very late night with a bit too much to drink. How about we meet you at the library in say three, no make that four hours. We need our beauty sleep and all that." Without another word she closes the door in our faces. Well I never.

I don't think anyone has ever shut a door in my face especially in the middle of an  
apology. The fact that she was naked would be a reason to go back inside none the less she could have invited us in. Then again the fact that she was entertaining Cordy last night would make that a bit inconvenient. Is Faith gay? I honestly never thought about it. I mean she oozes sexuality and plays heavily on it to boot. I always thought she was into men since she was so into conversations about me having at it with Xander.

I guess it was foolish to make that assumption. I would never have thought her and Cordy would hit it off like that. It was shocking to say the least to see her at the prom with Cordy last night. I didn't even know they were friends. I mean the last time I asked Cordy if she knew where Faith was she merely sniffed in disdain and said that was Giles job. Who would have thought she of all people would sleep with a girl. I thought Cordelia was straight as an arrow.

"So am I the only one who heard Cordelia's voice in Faith room?" Xander asks in a near squeak, very manly of him. Turning around I look into the faces of two very shocked friends. Xander's jaw is slack and Willow is a shade of red I have never seen before.

"I think it was Xander." I state simply not knowing what else to say.

"So Faith and Cordy are like a couple now? I mean they did go to the prom together and obviously they spent the night together." Willow expounds. She is still blushing fiercely even as she says it.

"I would assume that. I mean Cordy can't be one of Faith get some get gone scenarios. I seriously doubt Faith would ever take a "date" of hers to the prom." I frown at my own words and what they mean. Faith, in a relationship?

"Well I can't see it. Though I wish I could have seen what happened last night." Xander says and I can see by the dazed sheen that he is imagining Cordy and Faith together. God he is such a boy.

"Keep it in your pants Xander."I tell him with a strong smack. None of us need those thoughts right now. "Let's go to the library and see if Giles has anything new on the mayor.

The walk to the school takes a while since the motel is on the outskirts of town. My thoughts can't seem to get away from seeing Faith. She looked beautiful to say the least. I've never really looked at Faith, never seen her beyond her clothes. I suppose her being practically naked forces me to see her. She has a gorgeous body. A body I would love to have. Not in a gay way, I am totally straight. But as a girl you check out other girls. I never checked out Faith never compared her to me. Well today I did and sadly I thinking I am lacking in certain departments. I mean beyond the fact that she is an inch or two taller than me. I have the same flat abs, a six pack, and nicely defined arms and legs. Faith has a gorgeous ass that you could probably bounce a quarter off of and breast that would bring a man down to his knees. Yup totally straight thoughts.

Shaking my head free from my own thoughts I look at my friends who have been strangely silent. I wonder what they are thinking. I ask Willow about her thoughts due to the little frown marring her brow.

"I was just thinking over the things Faith said to me last night. She said that I was blind, that we all were. She said one day I would fall and she would be there to watch it this time. I'm just curious about what she meant by this time. What have we been blind about? What have I been blind to?" She asks her frown deepening.

"Undoubtedly she was talking about us being blind to her. I've been thinking about it and what she said to me. We don't really see Faith do we? I mean she comes she goes but we never see her. We never ask her out to spend time with us. We never ask her about her family or where she's from or how her life before Sunnydale was like. I have to admit after her set down last night I realized that we take Faith for granted. She doesn't have to be here. I am the slayer for this town and have rubbed that in her face. I've shut her out of my life not wanting to connect with her or let her connect with me. God, why did she have to come when she did?" I mean really at the moment when I was at my most insecure here comes Faith. Faith with all her confidence, sex appeal, and love of slaying. Faith who had my friends drooling at the sight of her. I couldn't help but get defensive. I couldn't help but shut her out of my life.

"I suppose you're right Buffy. However, it's not like she is around for us to try to be friends with her. She always disappears. She never calls. She never tells us anything. I mean friendship is a two way road and she doesn't exactly try to be friends with us." Xander puts in and I know he is right. I also know he is wrong.

"Something changed. I mean when Faith first came I thought she was here to stay. She looked like she was here to stay. Then one day out of the blue she's gone. She didn't leave a note or call or anything. Something happened to make her leave. I just can't figure out what it was. What made her suddenly decide Sunnydale was not the town for her? Where does she go when she is not here?" These questions plagued me all last night along with a bit of guilt for being so harsh.

Entering the library I see Wesley and the urge to suddenly turn around and walk away is so strong I have to fight it will all my strength. God does this guy completely piss me off. Taking a seat I wait for the others to join me. Hoping to continue our conversation I am blocked by Giles placing several books on the table. Groaning I wish this whole mayor issue was over already, I have a life to live.


	11. Thoughts and Plans

I am not sure whether to be outraged or impressed. Buffy Summer and friends just came to my room to apologize. If I was in a better mood I would have let them in and given them free reign to apologize as much as they wanted. However, it's nine in the morning and me and Cor only got in to bed around four in the morning. Honestly, a girl needs her beauty sleep.

Returning to bed I feel Cor snuggle up to me. Strange I never saw myself as a snuggler but I have found it rather nice. I never thought I would enjoy snuggling. I remember the nights that Riyad kept me in his bed. There was nothing nice about it; there was nothing to enjoy, to remember fondly at a later time. Out of them all he had the cruelest streak. He found such pleasure in my pain, in my terror, my hatred. When I was given to him I felt the world had come to an end. To know without a doubt that he would be my tormentor for life was enough to break me my from my drug induced stupor. It rattled fear through my weakened body flushing out the heroin. The others had their own harem and it was time Riyad built his, and I was so lucky as to be his first. How fate can be so very cruel. They had all used me, robbed me of my innocence, my hope, my love of life, and my future. Then Mohammed, my owner gave me away like a gift, a toy, a doll to his youngest son.

Shaking away my thoughts I slide my arm around Cor's waist and let her scent surround me. Here in this moment I don't need to remember that time. Here wrapped around my anchor, my friend I don't have to relieve those nightmares. Closing my eye's I let myself drift back into the sweet embrace of oblivion and pray that I don't dream.

Waking up to a warm body spooning me from behind momentarily transports me to another time, another place, another bed. Stiffening I take the time to feel the person behind me. The body is soft, the embrace is comforting not possessive. Relaxing by inches I release a breath and turn around. Cordelia is still sleeping. Her breathing comes in slow even waves, her face is completely relaxed, and she is at this moment the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Looking closely at her I wonder how I could be so lucky as to have her as my best friend. She's right and I have to finally admit it to myself if not to her; it's time I found a bit of happiness for myself.

I've been carrying this torch for Buffy. Being faithful to someone I am not even dating is ridiculous. I have had more than one guy ask me out but they are not an option for me. The few girls who have asked me out were a little too butch for my taste. I'm sexually undecided; however, if I am going to sleep with a woman it will be because she looks like a woman. I don't want to be with a woman who looks and acts like a man. I want a woman because she is soft, lush, and curvaceous. What is the point of being with a woman who looks like a man? None that I can see. So I am resolved to start looking for a girlfriend. I suppose taking a determined attitude toward it isn't the best way to go about it. I change that to I will keep my eyes open for a woman who actually interests me. I want love, I want to be happy, and I want the small pleasures of being with someone you actually care about. Obviously I am not going to have that with Buffy. Why should I deprive myself of a relationship with someone who will actually see me? Someone who will care about me? No it's time.

Sliding out from under the sheets I grab a change of clothes and go to the bathroom. Normally I would wake Cor up but I know she is tired from last night. Turning on the water I adjust to the perfect temperature and step in. The water feels delicious and it's the refresher I need this morning. Lord knows I drank way too much last night. Every dollar I made from that one dance went to paying for drinks. Even at a discounted price I still managed to waste all of it. I can't believe I drank so much. If I wasn't a slayer I would have been hospitalized for alcohol poisoning. As it is I have a hangover from hell. Who would have thought it possible for slayers to even get hangovers?

Getting out of the shower I dry off and get dressed. Waking Cor up I tell her we have to meet the Scooby's at the school in an hour and that she should get dressed. As she groggily gets up I lay out a set of clothes for her to wear. She's about my size a little bit taller so my sweat pants will have to do. Slipping out of the room I walk over to the diner and order us a small lunch. I know I am starved and undoubtedly so is Cor. I keep her food to a minimum because I am betting her stomach is in that small space between being revolted by food and craving it. She probably has a small hangover as well.

Returning to the room I find Cordelia sitting on my bed wearing my sweat pants, one of my sports bra's, a tank top, and a pair of sandals. Why I packed sandals don't ask me but obviously they have served a purpose. Strangely I don't even remember packing them. Hand of fate must have guided mine. Smiling at her I hand her a cup of coffee and her bag of food. She gives me a slight groan/moan of appreciation.

Taking a seat I open up my bag and begin scarfing down my food. My stomach is in the same place as hers but I know I am hungry. Hopefully my choice of fare will be light enough that I won't be hurling it up later. Cordelia digs into her own grub though not with any sense of relish. Once the meal is over by silent agreement we get up and begin the long trek to the school. Going to school on the weekend is just plain old fashioned wrong.

The walk is done is silence and I know it is mostly due to the fact that we both have a mild to extreme headache. By the slight frown mark I can tell Cor has the extreme headache. She didn't have as much to drink as me but I bet she isn't used to alcohol, well not like I am used to it anyway. I sympathize for her, really I do.

Entering the library we see the Scooby's gathered around a table looking through musty old books. Lord knows there are moments when I am grateful I was never invited to be a member of that little group. Who wants to gather to do research on a weekend before graduation? These people are so deranged; forty year old adults in the bodies of teenagers.

"Do we have any idea as to how he plans on ascending?" I hear Buffy ask and honestly I am curious myself. I haven't involved myself in anything regarding the mayor and originally I was a key player in his developments. Cor has been out of the loop which means I have as well.

"No I am sad to say we don't have a real clue as to how. There are multiple ways to go about the ascension but each one involves different ingredients and situations. It's like finding a needle in a haystack." I hear Giles say with exasperation clear in his voice and his body language.

"So how did you guys hear about the ascension anyways?" I ask finally garnering their attention. Immediately all eyes are on me.

"Quite frankly Faith I was wondering how you came to know about it." Giles says pointedly.

"I have my sources Giles. I'll share what I know if you share what you know." I tell him while leaning against the checkout counter. Cor stays behind me but merely rests her head on the counter.

"Well we heard from the deputy mayor. Wisely enough he has left town. He told us what little he knew and after a bit of encouragement he chose to leave town, and possibly the country. We have no clue how far a reach the mayor actually has. From him we know the mayor founded this town, that he is a hundred years old, and that he plans to ascend to a higher demon sometime near graduation. It's very little and it leaves us relatively lost as to where to research." I can practically feel Giles desperation.

Overall it's not much more than they would have known if I had been involved. Tomorrow I would have been busy killing professor Wirth. I haven't been involved for fear that any attempt to stop the ascension before it happens would only create further chaos. However, at this moment I do have an important decision to make one that could in fact alter the space of time. One I could let Lester Wirth be killed by whomever, or I could make sure he lives. In one direction it leads the Scooby's to figuring out what type of demon the mayor turns in to. In the other direction it means either letting a man be murdered or save his life.

"My sources tell me the mayor plans to ascend on your graduation. He's the commencement speaker. What better place to ascend then where there is a free buffet; parents, teachers, and students what a delightful all you can eat." I tell them with a straight face. I am not positive that the mayor will ascend at the graduation but it still seems like the best place. I am not overstating it when I say that it will be a free buffet. The looks on their faces tell me that they are beyond shocked.

"I told you I wasn't getting out of this school alive. I've been way too lucky." Xander shouts making Cor mumble incoherently and press into my back. Wrapping my arm around her I shoot Xander a scathing look. He gets the point and shuts up.

"That is both informative and horrifying Faith. Is there anything else your sources could reveal to us?" Giles asks looking at me with a bit of suspicion. Giving him a slight smile I shake my head. I have a bit of thinking to do. I want to change the events to come but I have to do it in a certain manner.

Turning to Cor I wrap her in my arms and whisper in her ear. I hate to leave her here to face them especially with what they are probably thinking but I have to. She merely nods her head in acceptance. Giving me a hug goodbye she tells me to be careful before she walks over to the table and takes a seat with the others. Without a word to the rest of them I leave. I have to save a man by helping to kill him.


	12. Morning after

My head is pounding. Three thousand Jack hammers are running in circles inside my head. I can't believe Faith let me drink so much last night. Getting up I walk over to the fountain and take a long slow drink. I know I am dehydrated and that is why I have a headache. Turning around I realize everyone is staring at me. No wonder Faith decided that this was the perfect moment to go off and save a man's life. I want to be saving someone's life too instead of facing this firing squad. Releasing a sigh I return to my seat and put my head back down. I know the questions will be coming and honestly I don't care. This time around I'm telling the truth, serves Faith right for leaving me here with these jackals.

"So Cordy had a busy night with Faith?"Xander asks and I can practically see the drool coming out of his mouth.

"Yeah we went to a strip club and had way too much to drink." I tell him without bothering to lift my head up.

"You went to a strip club with Faith and drank? You're not 21 how did you get drinks?" Xander asks his voice rising up an octave.

Releasing a slight groan and his raised voice I give him a dirty look before answering. "Faith worked there for a while. Of course we got in. She even did a number and the drinks were discounted. Overall it was one hell of a night. Sadly it's becoming a different sort of hell this morning. God my head is killing me." I tell him frankly while putting my head carefully back down.

"So you and Faith went to a strip club that she used to work at where she stripped for you and got you drunk? Do I have that right?" Buffy speaks up and her 'I'm superior to you' voice is coming out to play. Not feeling up for her bit of shit I merely nod my head.

"Are you and Faith a couple?" Willow asks in a squeak. If it weren't for the fact that Faith told me the Willow is actually a lesbian I would think she is homophobic. Then again a large portion of people who are homophobic are actually homosexuals.

"Did you know Willow that a good portion of people who are homophobic such as yourself are actually homosexuals in hiding?" I ask just to get her hackles up.

"I'm not homophobic." She squeaks again turning a bright shade of red. She should blush it does nothing for her complexion. Every time she blushes she just looks like a tomato.

"And no me and Faith are not a couple. I'm strictly dickly as Faith would say. However, I do have eyes and I know Faith is a hottie. Were friends and that's it." I tell them watching their eyes bulge slightly at the word dickly. God these people are such hypocrites. Buffy walks around here in tight tops, tight and short skirts, and occasionally without a bra and Faith is the overtly sexual being. I swear Buffy occasionally is an advertisement for 'sluts r' us'. Minus Xander they have all had sex yet the mention of sex has everyone blushing.

"Why were you in Faith's room when we came over today?" Buffy asks me sounding more and more like a mini general.

"What am I being court marshaled? We were drunk last night, we spent the night together, we did not have sex, and we are just friends. Should I take out the sheets so you can verify that I am not screwing Faith? Jeez it is possible to sleep with another woman without having intercourse. Just like it's possible to sleep with a man without having sex. God you people are so 1800's. You're all sexually experienced in one form or another but you all act like virgins. Willow's into bestiality, Buffy is a necrophiliac, and Xander well Xander is still a virgin so I guess he doesn't count, though he does have a tendency to attract demons." I tell them and I can tell they are shocked and outraged, well to bad.

"I am not a necrophiliac!"

"I am not into bestiality!"

"Buffy you lost your virginity to a vampire. A vampire is dead, part of the undead, but still dead. He doesn't breath, his heart doesn't beat, and he isn't and wasn't alive at the time thus you are a necrophiliac." I tell Buffy slowly as if she isn't going to understand. "Willow you lost your virginity to a man who turns into a werewolf three nights a month. That means you are in fact sleeping with a wolf. That to most people would be a form of bestiality." It feels nice to be on top once again. My headache is ebbing away and I know my witticism is coming back to the fore front.

The shock is clear on both women's faces and it only makes me smile. I kind of wish Faith was here to see me give them a proper set down. Slowly getting up I look them over. What a strange little group of people. Turning around I walk out of the library a self satisfied smirk gracing my perfect lips. This day is getting better already.


	13. Saving a life

"Ākāra kā mazadūra, I have a favor to ask of you."I say to the creature in front of me. Akara is a magnificent creature. She/he/it uses its Hindu name as an actual name every time it takes human form. The first time I encountered Akara was last year before I was called. Kate and I cleared out a small cave that hosted a small nest. The vampires had forced Akara to shift into human form so that they could feed. I have never enjoyed killing vampires as much as I did that night. The things that they did to Akara are not fit to be heard.

"You may ask anything of me Taraka." Akara says in a near whisper from lips that don't exist. I never thought I would actually be asking a favor from Akara. When I found it in Sunnydale I was surprised. This species of shape shifter is rather docile and the idea of it searching out the hellmouth seemed rather odd. I questioned it before but received only a vague answer to my questions. Akara has a reason to be here I just don't know it. As long as it stays docile I will leave it be and I've made sure it knows to stay away from Buffy and friends.

"I need you to shift into the shape of a specific man. I need you to impersonate him, through the day and night. Someone is going to try to kill him I just don't know who. I want you to let his attackers "kill" you so that others think he is dead." It's a big favor. The stabbing or shooting might not kill Akara but it will hurt and take some time to heal.

"I will need to touch this man to assume his form. I will need a bit of his blood to hold on to it." Akara tells me in a near whisper. Nodding my head I ask it to follow me.

It's predawn and the streets of Sunnydale are quiet. It took me the majority of the day to think out how to save Professor Wirth. Then it took the whole night to find Akara. My plan has a couple of holes in it but I hope it works. Akara can take on the shape of anything it touches. Hopefully with a bit of blood it will be able to not only assume the good professors form but his scent as well. Overall if this works I am a genius.

The walk to the professor's apartment doesn't take too long. As I expected he is home and the door is locked. Taking out my lock picks I get to work. I would rather take the professor by surprise. Working the lock for a minute I am glad to hear the click signaling I have hit the tumbler just right. Opening the door I look around and am swamped by a flash of memory. I've been here before and the conditions were very different. I remember his terror, his body tensing as the knife slid cleanly into his stomach. It was indeed a painful death and I inflicted it with relative glee. How eager I was to please.

Entering Wirth's room I find him laying in bed still sound asleep. Hovering over him I place my hand on his mouth which immediately wakes him up. Looking him in the eye I tell him to be quiet. He merely nods and I am not stupid enough to remove my hand. Signaling to Akara I tell it to do what needs to be done. Silently I watch as it takes the professor's hand and cuts it lightly. Licking the wound clean I watch in mild fascination as Akara takes the professor's form. It looks exactly like him down to the stripped pajamas he's wearing. It's rather creepy to watch. Turning my attention back to the professor I find his eye's to be wide as saucers. He is shocked to say the least.

"The mayor of Sunnydale is planning to send a couple of goons to your house today to kill you professor. Akara here is going to take your place. You are going to pack a bag and get out of Sunnydale for about two weeks." I tell him clearly making sure he understands everything. Removing my hand from him mouth I wait for him to speak.

"Why in the world would the mayor want me dead? I am just an anthropologist." He looks shocked and confused.

"It seems some of the work you have done has caught his attention. He wants you out of the so that some of your work never sees the light of day." I tell him feeling it isn't necessary to specify which work.

The good professor merely nods and I find he is taking everything relatively well and in good stride. Then again I suppose watching a demon transform into what looks like a carbon copy of you would make it just a little bit easier to accept the fact that the mayor is trying to kill you. After Wirth packs a bag I take him outside leaving Akara behind. I walk him to the bank order him to take out all his available cash and not to use his credit cards or checks for the next two weeks everything has to be cash. Walking him to the bus station I watch him board and release a sigh of boarded up tension. The first part is done. Next is to wait and see if the mayor follows the same path. If he doesn't then I've just sent the professor away for no good reason.

Walking back to the motel I enter my room only to find Cordy there waiting expectantly. This is something of a surprise. I had told her at the library that I had to think out the problem of the professor. I thought she was a bit too understanding. Though I have to admit it was wrong of me to leave her with the Scooby gang. They were clearly full of questions. It wasn't quite right.

"You know I should smack you for leaving me with them." She tells me simply as I walk in. Yup she is this side of ticked off.

"I would happily let you smack me Cor. I might even like it." I give her my little smirk hoping to soften her up a bit.

"Knowing you I know that's not true." She tells me switching to serious mode. "I will tell you that I did not appreciate being left behind to fend off the lions. In return for that move I did not keep my mouth shut. They asked questions and I answered honestly." She tells me with her own wicked smile. Undoubtedly she enjoyed herself regardless of how much she might deny it.

"So how much do the super friends know?"

"Just that you were a stripper and that we were not having sexual relations the other night."She tells me with all seriousness. I knew she would never tell anything personal. For all that the Scooby's look down on Cor she is one of the most reliable people I know. Anything I've asked her to keep quiet about she has done so without a question. She's the only person I have ever trusted enough to talk about my past. Cor is my therapist.

"Well I guess it was bound to come out some time. Did you have fun torturing the Scooby's with my illicit life style?" Her smile tells me all and I merely laugh wishing I was there to see it.

"So how did it go today?"

"I think I may have solved the problem but I am not positive yet. We will see won't we? Just in case the professor is still on his way out of town as we speak. All we have to do now is wait to see how things progress."

"I still don't see why you can't just stop the mayor? You would be saving a lot of lives I would guess." She tells me with a frown.

"It's an argument we have had before Cor. I don't know what will happen. I honestly don't think I am able to kill the mayor. I know it is hard for you to believe but through everything I experience in that prophecy I can't murder him. He was like a father to me. I love him. It is going to kill me to watch Buffy kill him this time around. Do you really think I would be able to handle murdering him? Cause that is what it would be Cor; murder. He is a demon right now but he is still mostly human. I can't kill him. I also don't know what killing him will do, how it will change the course of time. That vision was sent to change my actions and I don't think it was meant for me to change everyone's future. If it was meant to change everyone's future I would have seen bits and pieces of their lives along with my own. I don't have a clue as to what was happening in Buffy's life while I was in jail. I know the bare facts but I don't have a timeline for anything. I am walking blind in to the future when it comes to everyone else. Changing my actions, making my life better probably won't affect what happens here in Sunnydale since I was not really involved in Sunnydale to begin with. I was outside of time here." I tell her and see she is looking at me with a sad little smile.

"I suppose you are right Faith. Even with the changes you have made you have been outside of what happens here. You move in and out of this world but you are never really seen or appreciated. You do know I love though don't you?" She asks me and I wonder what she saw in my face to make her say that. I merely nod and move towards her letting her envelope me in a hug. She is my anchor and I don't think I could manage without her.

Angel was right when he said a slayers life is filled with darkness and loneliness. It was so lonely in my life that I turned to a demon. A demon who gave me the one thing I needed more than anything else in the world; love. They all saw me and used me, but they never got to know me, they never thought to try to love me. Yet the mayor saw me, the real me underneath the layers of bravado, and he loved me. I've made this life a little less lonely. I've included Cor into my life in a way I didn't know how to do in the last. This time I am dragging Angel into my circle cause I know he actually does care for me. I will anchor myself firmly this time. I will not let my own inner darkness consume me. This time I will live my life to the fullest.


	14. Once Bitten

The library is quiet except for the turning of pages of ancient texts. Why I'm here I haven't quite figured out yet. I got a call and what sounded very much like a summons to come to the school to meet Buffy to check out someone's apartment. So of course I get up, get dressed and walk over to the library. What do I find when I get there; two watchers. Now color me surprised because I had assumed I was coming over here to meet Buffy. Well it seems that miss tightly wound was impatient and decided it was necessary to go explore the apartment on her own. Overall I won't object it plays out almost like it did before. Undoubtedly Angel is going to meet her there and he will get shot and hopefully not killed.

Giles had suggested kindly after seeing my expression that I follow Buffy. I had merely told him that if she had really wanted the help she would have waited. My express must have been enough because he let the topic drop. Wesley on the other hand felt it was necessary to comment. I shut him down quickly by reminding him that if he had any control over Buffy I would not have been here waiting for her return. I refuse to follow her around town like a dog hoping for a pat on the head.

Flipping through a text not really reading the words I wait for what I hope is the inevitable. I am thankfully not disappointed. Buffy comes through the library doors with Angel half dragged and sweating. It is rather strange watching a vampire sweat. Something that is undead and whose body temp is below normal should not sweat. Vacating my seat I position it for Angel to sit down. Taking a close look at him I see the damage I would have undoubtedly of done. Impressive I have to say.

Looking at his chest I see the arrow head sticking out. Without an ounce of mercy I break the shaft and yank the arrow head out be as he sits down. Angel howls in pain and I merely smile.

"Take it like a man dead boy. It was quick and you were caught by surprise it couldn't of hurt that much." Examining the arrowhead I see the bit of fluid gleaming on it. It's been poisoned alright. Looking at Angel's light gleam of sweat I know it is already taking affect and that he hasn't noticed it yet. Putting the arrowhead under my nose I take a deep sniff. Same poison great just great. I end up having to feed him after all.

Buffy shoots a death glare at me but I merely smile. Her beloved just got poisoned and I know the cure. Should I tell her or let her suffer a little…hmm…big question. The little glare she gave me makes me vote for suffer. I know she fed him but I don't know how much. Hopefully just a little in the beginning of this poison will be enough. Watching them bandage him up I hear Wesley going on about the professor's findings in Hawaii. Angel gets up and immediately collapses. Without a word I hand the arrowhead to Giles, he too takes a sniff and realizes that Angel has been poisoned.

"Call the others. Get them here. We need to move him to the safety of his own bed before the sun comes up."Giles orders while looking at Buffy.

"Is he going to be alright?"Buffy asks her voice laced with deep concern.

"The Council has a vast network of information on these types of things."Wesley puts in with all the naïve confidence of a novice of the Council. He is going to be sadly disappointed.

"It's clearly a type of poison it may take some time but I promise we will figure this out." Giles says while laying his hand on Buffy's shoulder in a comforting gesture.

Releasing a sigh at the drama of it all I lean down and help Angel to his feet. He's unconscious so I am lifting dead weight, no pun intended. Dragging his body over my shoulder I balance him before getting to my feet. Without a backward glance I walk out of the library. I hear Buffy following me her concern for her lover like a thick syrup coating me. The walk to the mansion is done in silence. Buffy is too busy fretting about Angel and I personally I too busy carrying his full weight to offer any form of condolence. Honestly you would think she would at least offer to help carry him. I mean I may be a slayer but this guy weighs at least 200 pounds and his about six feet. That's a lot of weight over a large space. Some concern she has. I bet if I suddenly collapsed she would be worried that I had hurt him not over the fact that I had fallen.

Getting into the mansion I settle Angel into his bed and take a seat. It's going to be a long night. The silence stretches between us. Buffy is silently holding Angel's hand, and Angel is already beginning to really sweat. Overall this is not good for me. The poison is infecting his system at a faster rate than I expected. Then again the last time we played this game I was working for the mayor and wasn't around to see the effects of the poison. I do know that it is rather painful.

The hours tick by slowly. Buffy is becoming slightly frantic in her worry and the looks she is throwing me occasionally are starting to get on my nerves. Her expression practically screams that this is my fault in some manner. I am waiting for her to finally break. Obviously she has some pent up frustration and sadly I am the only person who she can vent it on. Just great.

"Were where you Faith?" She asks her voice dripping with hatred. Great what reason does she have for hating me now?

"I was in my room sleeping when you woke me up and ordered me to the library. I am not a god and I can't magically transfer from one place to another in a blink of an eye Buffy. Why didn't you wait for me? I know you are trying to blame me for him getting poisoned but this is not my fault. You should have waited for me. Instead you went off on your own. He chose to follow you. He chose to be with you today. Not me. I had nothing to do with what happened today. So take the blame train away from my station cause I don't want to hear it." I tell her my ire rising with each second. The tension between us is thick and I am tempted beyond reason to just walk away from this situation.

My little speech seems to have taken the wind out of her sails because she nearly collapses into a chair next to Angel's bed. Watching her cautiously I wait to see how this little drama will play out. I don't have to wait long. I hear the front door open and I can tell from the low accents that Wesley and Giles are here. Buffy looks to me, then at Angel and finally to door trying to decide what to do. Motioning my head towards the door I signal for her to go out there and talk to the watchers. Receiving a nod of acknowledgement I watch her walk out of the room. Keeping an ear on the conversation I catch the basics.

The watcher's council refuses to help. They have strict rules on curing, or helping to cure vampires. Buffy of course fights for Angel's cause, points out that these are extenuating circumstances. Receiving the official no from the Council I hear Buffy quit. I knew she would but I am still surprised to hear it. Wesley objects vehemently stating that she doesn't know what she's doing. Clearly he's already afraid of losing his job. I wonder if the Council will remember that I still exist and let him keep his job as my watcher. Interesting thought, I would hate to have him as my watcher as his is right now. After a couple of years working for Angel then I would take him as a watcher.

"Will you watch him?" Buffy asks as she pops her head back in to the room. I am surprised but I suppose I shouldn't be. Out of everyone I am the only one who is equipped to deal with anything that comes in with the intent of finishing Angel off, not that anything is going to. Nodding my ascent I watch her leave. Who would have thought my opportunity would come so soon.

Honestly not sure I want it quite yet. I remember the sensation of his fangs sliding into my neck. It was not pretty and I might have a high tolerance to pain it doesn't mean I enjoy it. Breathing deeply I listen to the house checking to see if everyone is gone. Once I am sure that it's empty I go to Angel. Grabbing onto his shoulders I lift him into a sitting position. A few sharp slaps has him rising to consciousness.

"Angel you need to drink." I tell him while moving his face to the crook between my head and shoulders. I feel him resist. Pulling harder I wrap my arms around his torso holding his head to my neck. God the fact that I don't want to do this only makes this harder. Feeling him continue to struggle I do the one thing I don't want to do. Holding him tight with one arm I reach into my boot and pull out a thin stiletto. Running the blade lightly over my neck I cut it, not deeply just enough to get the blood swelling to the surface. That's all that's needed. The smell of blood and my warmth is the straw that breaks his resistance.

The sudden strength infusing his body is a surprise to me. In a flash he has me in a vise grip and his fangs are sliding deeply into my flesh. Hissing in pain I keep one hand on his back and the other in his hair. This could easily get ugly and out of all the ways I would like to die; death by vampire is not one of them. The slow pull of blood draws my body tight like a bow. I am bordering the thin line between exquisite pain and immeasurable pleasure.

Feeling a bit light headed I try to push Angel off of me. He fights me and I feel us toppling onto the bed with me on the bottom. The feeling of being trapped is damn near suffocating. I'm on the verge of a full blown panic attack and it's not helping. My strength is slipping away with every hard pull at my throat. Suddenly I am back in Riyad's chambers. My arms are pinned behind me and he's between my thighs. The force of each thrust drags a ragged scream from my raw throat. My insides are burning as he tears me from the inside out. Oh god this cannot be happening again. Please God don't let this be happening again. I feel the weight of Angel between my thighs and my brain tries to fight the panic. Desperately I try to tell the panic that I am not there, that this is not Riyad. A sharp keening sound pierces my brain and before I black out I realize it was me.


	15. Cordelia's Fears

I have no idea why I am here with these people searching for a cure for Angel. I mean the guy is cute and everything but after last year I should not be here trying to help. That and everything that has happened this year does not make me feel overly friendly towards this group of social retards. Breathing out a sigh of aggravation I wait for the big news.

"I've found it!" The excited squeal coming from Willow says more than it doesn't. "Killer of the dead, a very painful poison, it's both physical and metaphysical. Give me a second to find the rest." She says while she and Oz scroll down through the page.

"Is there a cure?" Buffy asks and I can almost feel the desperation in her voice.

"Uh it seems that there is but it's not a good one." Oz says in that serious tone of his.

"Come on guys the suspense is killing Angel." Xander nervously quips. I shot him a dagger or two to shut up. I want this over with. I don't appreciate unnecessary drama.

"It…well there is a cure but I don't think we can do it. Only one vampire walked away from this poison alive." Willow says in a mild babble like she isn't sure if she wishes to finish the story or delaying the inevitable.

"What is it Willow?" Buffy aggravation is taking the forefront now. These people are so god damn predictable it's pathetic.

"The blood of a slayer, he has to drain a slayer to be cured." Willow tells us slowly releasing a defeated sigh. Oh great the blood of a slayer will cure him and we just happen to have two slayers. I can already see little miss sunshine's brain working overtime.

"Well that's perfect. We have two slayers so a little bit from me and a bit from Faith and we can cure him." She practically shouts in excitement. So predictable.

"What makes you think Faith is going to be willing to help us Buffy? She hasn't exactly been Ms. Team player." Xander questions in the back.

"Well… she will she has to. She's watching Angel right now. Let's go to the mansion we need to cure him before the poison gets too deeply into his system." Buffy says switching into her confident general mode.

I wonder if Faith will be willing to give up a pint or two to Buffy's boy toy. She has a thing for Buffy but she's never had any real love for Angel. The question really is whether she loves Buffy enough or hates Angel enough. Which will win is the big question.

The walk to the mansion is done in silence. Why I'm following I'm still not quite sure. I think it's more out of curiosity. Buffy is determined and walking as if she is going off to war. Willow, Oz, and Xander are following like dutiful dogs. The silence is nearly palatable. The streets of Sunnydale are quieter than usual. There's a hush about town as if it is waiting to see what happens next. Faith was right in a way; this town really does seem to react to what is going on in Buffy's life.

"Faith?" Buffy calls out as we enter the mansion. The silence is enough to make me nervous. Faith should have heard us coming. Entering Angel's room we find a scene that makes my blood run cold. Angel's on top of Faith his head cradled into her neck. The motion of his head tells me he's drinking from her. The small undulations of his hips between her thighs tell me he's enjoying it.

For a long moment we are all stuck in shock. Faith isn't moving and my heart clenches in fear at what that could mean. I've never been a homicidal person but if he has killed her I swear on every god that ever was that I will shove a stake into his unbeating heart. We watch this macabre horror for what feels like hours when it could have been seconds or minutes. Then the world explodes into action. Buffy pulls Angel off of Faith, tearing the skin around her neck since his fangs were still embedded. Jumping onto the bed I check Faith's pulse. Its thread but it's still there. Breathing a sigh of relief I grab a pillow case and bunch it at her throat putting as much pressure as I can without hurting her. She's unconscious which makes me nervous. Turning to the others I scream at them to call an ambulance.

Looking over at Buffy and Angel I can see that Angel has been cured. His eyes are no longer dilated and he looks fresh, damn near alive. His skin is glowing and there is an overall flushed look about him. He's staring back at the bed in horror of what he's done. Buffy is staring at him with a mixture of jealousy, anger, and relief. Mildly I wonder why she's jealous or angry for that matter. She has what she wanted; Angel is cured.

It feels like forever before the ambulance arrives and even longer before they put her on a stretcher and into the ambulance. I follow close wanting to make sure she is okay. The questions from the EMT's come at me one after the other and I answer as best I can.

"Does she have any allergies?" "Not that I know of"

"Any history of drug abuse?"

"No never" I lie easily knowing Faith doesn't want her past revealed.

"Where is her family?"

"She hasn't had contact with them in several years. I'm the closest thing she has here on the west coast."

They work on her and I pray for her heart to continue beating, for her lungs to continue taking one breath after the other. I can't lose her. I won't lose her. She is my best friend, my only true friend. I can't see a world without Faith in it. As dark as the others think her to be she is in fact pure light. For a person who has survived all the things she has survived she is so strong, so full of life. I've heard every bit of her past and I have cried for her. I could never have survived the things done to her. I could never have withstood that type of physical, mental, and emotional pain. Yet she survived and as she says to me time and time again she is better for having survived it. I know it haunts her. At times I have felt her stiffen up in my embrace; I know she is back in that terrible time.

We finally arrive at the hospital and they cart her in. I am left in the waiting room filling out paperwork. I had taken Faith's wallet so the majority of the paperwork is easy enough to fill out. The wait is horrifyingly long. The minutes tick slowly by and my heart is in that room with her. If she dies I don't know what I will do. Such a large part of me will die with her. The fates could not be so cruel. She has so much in her life to live for; she has finally made her way in the world. They can't take it all away from her now.

"Cordelia is she okay?" Buffy asks as she and the others walk into the waiting room. Angel is with them and a part of me wishes I had a stake. I would love to shove it deep into his heart. My expression must show as much because I see him take a step back.

"I don't know yet. They haven't said anything." I tell them bleakly taking a close look at the others. Buffy still has that strange mixture of emotions written so clearly on her face. Xander looks confused but that isn't much of a surprise. Oz looks pensive but that too isn't different from any other time I see him. Willow looks nervous, of what I have no idea. She barely tolerates Faith something that has always been a mystery to me.

Giles walks in followed by Wesley, he asks the same question as Buffy but I don't even bother to reply. I just turn my attention back to the door. I marked myself as Faith's sister. I'm as much her sister as her friend. Looking back at the clock I see they have had her for more than half an hour already. How much danger could she be in? True she lost a lot of blood and there was damage to her neck but that was about it. Should it take this long to patch her up? To tell us if she is going to be okay or not?

"Ms. Chase?" A tall doctor with shocking white hair calls out as the door opens. Standing up I approach him fear clearly written on my face. "She's going to be fine." He tells me quickly undoubtedly because of my expression. "She's suffered through a lot of blood loss and there some surface damage to her neck. However, she hasn't regained conscious as of yet. That is a bit confusing but I am more than confident that she should before the night is over. It's my guess that her body is just in mild shock from the loss and is slowly recovering." He tells me while leading me to her room. The others follow behind me listening to every word.

Entering Faith's room I see her lying in the white hospital bed in one of those gowns. She looks so frail, so young. Walking slowly to the bed I slide onto it and wrap myself around her. Like a shield I'll protect her. Laying my head onto her shoulder I finally release the tears that have been hiding behind my eyes. I am completely and utterly relieved that she will be alright.

"Leave us alone. Your Angel is cured. You have a battle to prepare for and she is currently out of commission so get out." I tell them my voice breaking lightly from all the emotions. Without looking up I feel them leaving.


	16. Decisions and Dreams

Walking home my brain is swamped with images and my emotions are all over the place. Cordelia sent us away like we were misbehaving children being sent to our rooms. Looking back I can still see Angel on top of her. I can still feel the overwhelming rush of jealousy. They are so alike and seeing them together at the prom just reminded me of that. They are so quiet, so introspective and brooding, a mystery I have never been able to solve let alone breach. I know nearly nothing about Faith and only a little bit more than nothing about Angel.

My brain kept telling me that they would be perfect together, two dark souls meeting, and finding comfort in each other. Finding him on her like that, imitating such an intimate sexual act was almost too much for me to bear. When I tore him off her it was not for her sake, it was not to make sure she was alright, but to get him away from her. The shame of my own feelings makes me flush. She was clearly unconscious but the thoughts I had at that moment were a little too honest. I was jealous of her, of her freedom, of her ability to lure people into her net of sexuality.

Then seeing her at the hospital, watching Cordelia slide into bed with her, I was even more jealous then when I saw her with Angel. Seeing her with Cordelia made me want her. I wanted to be the one who lay down with her. I wanted to be the one who comforts her. Yet she won't have anything to do with me. She avoids me the majority of the time. She walks in and out of Sunnydale without a word to me. She is so comfortable with Cordelia and each time I see them together I feel a vicious stab of jealousy. We should be close, we should be friends, and she belongs to me not Cordelia.

Taking a seat on my front porch I consider these little bits of honesty that I have denied myself. I am jealous of Cordelia's relationship with Faith. I am jealous that Angel fed off of her though in that department I am not sure whether I am jealous of Angel or of Faith. I am angry over the fact that Faith keeps me at arm's length. I'm angry that she shuts me down so easily. We used to be close or at least getting close to being close. The door was there and I still don't know when or why it closed. One day she was there and the next time I turned around she was gone.

Releasing a sigh I get up and go to my room. There is nothing I can do tonight, nothing I can solve. Getting to my room I change into a pair of pajamas and go to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Little images of Faith walk through my mind like reels from an old movie. I am lost in thoughts of her. Returning to my room I slide under the sheets and close my eyes hoping for quiet oblivion.

_ I open my eyes to a pair of deep chocolate brown eyes. They are so deep and sad, a world of sorrow lies within. The soft curve of a cheek, lightly tanned skin, luscious red lips, and silky burnished russet hair. Sliding my hand around her waist I sigh at the supple skin, bringing her closer. She smiles softly at the intimate gesture. Something I know I would never do if I wasn't dreaming. _

_ "I've missed you." She says softly to me her voice barely above a whisper._

_ "Then why did you leave me?" _

_ "You are unwilling to see me." She says simply as if that means everything when to me it means nothing. I see her, I've always seen her. She takes up the air in every room she enters. She fills a space to the brim with her presence, with her beauty. _

_ "When are you coming back to me?" I have to ask. This is a dream but I know she is really here, where ever here is._

_ "I'll come back when you see me." She says cryptically. I hate cryptic even in my dreams. _

_ "That doesn't mean anything to me. I see you." I tell her pleading and demanding. She merely smiles sadly and shakes her head lightly. _

_ "Human weakness it never fades not even his. In the end only the fire will cleanse." She tells me while softly kissing my lips. The kiss is so tender that I am lost in sensation. It feels as if I have never been kissed. _

Opening my eyes I stare at the ceiling above my bed. The dream is fresh in my mind and I am confused without a doubt. I'm confused about my feelings for Faith. I'm confused about what she said. Who is he? The mayor? Angel? Fire kills him, well fire will kill Angel so that must mean the mayor. How does she know that fire will kill him? God I hate not knowing. I hate all of this.

Getting up I go to the bathroom and take a quick shower. Picking out an outfit I continue to puzzle over my dream and worry about how Faith is doing. Getting dressed I am out the door within half an hour with plenty of time to get to school. The walk is short since my mind is trailing back and forth through my dream and figuring out how to defeat the mayor.

Obviously he is planning to ascend during graduation. What better time to ascend then where there is a free buffet of people to eat? The question becomes how do we kill him? She said fire so will a flamethrower kill him? Maybe a large explosion will do the trick. What I do know is that I will not be able to do this alone. The whole school is going to be affected by this so I will get the graduation class to help me defeat him. It does mean a lot more cannon fodder but if they are all going to be eaten anyway they might as well die in the process of killing the mayor. That's a very grim view of the entire situation.

Walking in to the library I see that everyone is already gathered minus Faith. That causes my heart to skip a beat in worry. Cordelia is here but she looks tired. Taking a look at everyone it's like I have an epiphany. I know how we are going to kill the mayor.

"How's Faith?" I ask Cordelia hoping everything is okay. Cordelia looks up at me and her eyes are so sad my heart clenches in fear.

"She's alive if that is what you mean. She hasn't woken up yet and the doctors think it might be psychological damage. Her body is healing but her mind seems to have shut down." She tells me bleakly. It looks like all the life and joy has been sucked out of her face and I am twice as worried as before.

"Why would she shut down like that?" I ask hoping Cordelia has a real clue as to what is going on in Faith's mind.

"Knowing Faith's past like I do and remembering how we found Angel feeding from her I would think it is past psychological trauma coming back with a vengeance." She tells me and everything she doesn't say is almost abundantly clear. I remember Angel on top of her. That gives me a large clue that Faith's past is riddled with a lot of sexual abuse, enough that she would regress at being even remotely assaulted. This revelation is both painful and heartbreaking. Putting it aside with as much willpower possible I focus on graduation.

I lay out my plan of blowing up the school with the mayor in it and am not surprised by the shock and mild resistance I encounter. However, my plan is the best we have. Rallying the troops around the idea I convince Xander to get me the explosives I need, Cordelia to pass the word along, and Willow and Oz to help get the explosives and talk to the populace. Wesley and Giles I assign to clearing out the library. This is ground zero ladies and gentlemen and the war is on.


	17. I Don't Want This

Opening my eyes I see the stark white of a hospital room. They really need to invest in color. White is way too sterile and does not give a healing feeling sort to speak. Shifting slightly I feel my body near moan in pain. I am tight that's for sure. Looking around I see a television, a side table, and the curtain. Not much around to actually help me figure out what day it is. Easing out of bed I stretch my sore muscles and pull out the IV, the oxygen and the heart monitor. Sliding my hand to my neck I feel the bandage, pulling it slowly off I feel the skin is healed and only a scar remains.

"Ms. Lehane you need to get back in bed." A slightly rotund nurse practically yells at me. Staring her in the eye I convey at least a portion of my aggravation. It stops her in her tracks.

"I don't need to do anything. You on the other hand need to get the doctor here and have my discharge papers written up. I want to be out of here within the hour." I tell her my voice slightly raspy and dry. My facial expression must have been enough because she turns around without a word.

Walking to the bathroom I complete the necessities and return to my bed. Who would have thought I would end up in a hospital again? I seriously thought with all the changes I made to my future I would have been able to avoid this part. Turning on the T.V I lay back and wait for the nurse.

"Faith Lehane?" A woman of medium height, blonde hair cut short, in a suit questions. Dragging my attention to the nearly petite woman I examine her closely. Clearly she isn't the doctor but from her stance I can tell she is used to being in command. Raising my hand in acknowledgement I wait for her to ask whatever it is that she obviously wants to ask.

"My name is Professor Walsh." Is that supposed to mean something? I almost ask but she beats me to the punch. "I teach at the University. However, I am here about an offer from the U.S government. You have shown great promise not only in the ROTC program but in your studies. I am part of a government program called the Initiative. Your particular branch of study has attracted our attention. I would like to offer you an internship with our program. You will be enrolled over the summer into the University, able to take the courses necessary to your degree courtesy of the government of course. You will also be working one on one with me expanding your knowledge of engineering. The internship allows for a small allowance along with room and board. You will also do some training which will be accredited to the ROTC program." She offers point blank her face stern and serious.

This is a surprise to say the least. True I passed all my classes and I did do rather well. However, I don't think I did so well that the government would take such an interest in me. There is obviously a lot this woman is not telling me. I vaguely remember something about Buffy becoming involved in the initiative along with her beefstick.

"Well I am honored by your offer professor but I will have to think about it. I have a life, a job, and an apartment in Cleveland, along with some other responsibilities." I tell her hoping she gets the hint that I am probably going to refuse this.

"Maybe you don't understand what I am saying Ms. Lehane. This was phrased as an offer but it is anything but. You are required to be here, you will take courses at the University, you will train with my soldiers, and you will be working with me one on one in furthering my research. It is not a question, request, or plea, it is a command and you will follow it unless you wish to be dismissed from the ROTC program and have to return in full the money the government gave you for your education. Have I made myself clear Ms. Lehane?" Okay so the crazy doc is utterly serious. If her words weren't enough her stance, facial expression, and tone of voice tells me she is beyond serious.

Nodding my head in acquiescence I watch a small smile grace the good crazy professor's lips. It seems I have very little choice in this matter. Who would have thought that merely changing a few events in my life would lead me to deal with this? The Initiative wants me as a member. What for I have no idea.

"Good decision Ms. Lehane. You have two weeks to get your affairs in order and then report to me. Your schedule has already been arranged and a room has been reserved for you. Report to my office one week from this day do I make myself clear Ms. Lehane?" She asks in an authoritative tone waiting for me to nod my head in agreement and understanding. "Classes start in a week and a half. Have a good day Ms. Lehane see you soon." She says and without a by your leave walks out the door.

Well that was interesting to say the least. Turning my attention back to the T.V I am startled by the date. I've been out for a solid week and a half. Guess that's not bad considering the last time I was in this hospital I was in a six month coma. Flipping the channels I search for any information on what happened at graduation. I know there probably won't be anything because this is Sunnydale, the land of utter denial. Seeing nothing of interest I turn it off. I assume that since the hospital is in working order the mayor didn't win.

"Good morning Ms. Lehane." A young doctor with light brown hair, aquiline nose, and high cheek bones greets me. Nodding my acknowledgement I wait for him to make his next move. "Well I hear you would like to be discharged?" He asks when it's obviously a demand on my part not a request.

"Yes, today in fact." I tell him giving him a small smile. I try not to burn my bridges before I even cross them.

"Well Ms. Lehane that may be a problem. You've been in a coma for more than a week, ten days to be exact. That's a long time for the body to remain in stasis, muscles stiffen and atrophy, the stomach and intestinal track are not able to consume solid food. Your body has gone through several changes and it will take at least a couple of weeks of physical therapy for you to be back to normal." He tells me his voice soothing as if he is talking to a skittish horse.

My body is going through several changes? What am I thirteen? Did my period just come for the first time? Standing up I strut, well as much as one can in a hospital gown, up to the doctor. "I am more than perfectly capable of getting up and walking out of this hospital. So you have two choices either discharge me or I'm calling my lawyer. I am within my rights to demand to be discharged. Since I am sound of body and mind you have no right to restrain me. Now I expect you to have my discharge papers written up within the hour." I tweak his nose just too really get my point across. Walking back to bed I rearrange myself and tap my wrist as if tapping a watch. The doc gets the hint and ushers the nurse out before him.

"Faith!" Cordelia shouts as she walks into my room. Finally someone is calling me by my name.

"Cor" I shout back and open my arms. Within seconds my arms are filled with Cordelia. Holding her close I inhale her scent and bask in the sense of being safe, of being home. Cordelia is home to me. Who would have thought the future would change so much. In a time not that long ago I would have kept her at arm's length. Now I can't imagine not being able to touch her or feeling like I couldn't or shouldn't touch her.

"I'm so glad you're awake. You've really had me worried you know?" She tells me while giving me an extra squeeze.

"I'm glad I'm awake too. What happened? The last thing I remember was Angel's fangs sinking in. And a very strange fuzzy dream between Buffy and yours truly."

"A dream about Buffy huh?" Cordelia says with a version of my eyebrow wiggle and smirk.

"Not that kind pervo, it's fuzzy but there was nothing pervy about it. So what happened?" I pester a bit.

"Well Angel fed off of you and he was cured, congrats you saved his life, however next time feel free not to. If I have to choose between you and Angel I choose you. Remember first rule of slaying; don't die. Then we brought you to the hospital you had a bit of skin damage and massive amounts of blood loss. I spent the night of course but you didn't wake up. The next day the doctors told me that it could take hours to weeks to months before you woke up." She tells me and then gives me a hard punch in the arm. "Don't you ever do that to me again. Buffy came up with a master plan for defeating the mayor. She taunted him about how everyone turned on him yadda yadda then she blew up the school. It was rather impressive. The entire senior class banded together and we defeated the mayor and his minions. Angel left town, Xander did too, Willow and Buffy are mopping together while getting pumped about college. Overall not much has happened." She finishes with a smirk.

"Well it does seem like nothing happened. So what's next for you Cor? I know you planned on leaving for L.A as soon as school ended. Are you still planning on going?"

"Yeah I just wanted to make sure you were okay before I left. I know Buffy and Willow weren't going to visit you nor were any of the others. They are too wrapped up in their own dramas to notice the world around them. Now that I know you're okay and that you'll be getting out today I can get my plans in motion." She tells me with a smile and a squeeze.

"Ouch Cor I thought you cared?" I tell her feigning hurt.

"You know I do you little baby. You're my best friend and more. I've been sick with worry and you know it. I need a little levity right now or I'll break down and you know it. It has killed me to come here every day and see you so still in this bed, to spend days not knowing whether or not you were going to wake up. I love you." She tells me as she starts to cry. Wrapping my arms around her I hold her close and give her what comfort I can.

"Shh love, this is our beginning. We won't have ends. Even when we die you will always be in my heart and I in yours. I love you too." I tell her while wiping away here tears and laying a soft kiss on her lips. The kiss on the outside may look romantic but it's so platonic I feel like I am kissing my brother. Pulling away I wipe away the rest of her tears before I give her another big hug. This is just the beginning.

"Buffy?"Looking up I see the door is open but I could have sworn I felt her. Strange…


	18. Chapter 18

AN: This story has ended and the next one is Back to Sunnydale, its the sequel.


End file.
